As for H
I just got back from the VA, H is staying a few days for evaluation. The doctor gave him a complete exam, the first he's has had since he left the service. We knew he had high blood pressure he takes meds for it. It seems he is also in the first stages of adult onset diabeties. I know from dealing with my father that it can causes mood swings. Right now I'm trying to understand what it must feel like to be in his body. I know from experience, pregnancy and menopause that hormones can make you crazy. IMHO women are more likely to seek medical help for emotional and health problems than men are. It goes against their tough guy image. Besides meds H will have to attend therapy both alone and with me. There is no leeway in that, it is as of now written in stone. I want the man I married back. He was loving and giving. We had a wonderful relationship then. I'm hoping and praying that once he gets his meds regulated he will be his old self again or at least better than he has been.
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Ferret
I applaud you for sticking by DH to at least help him figure our if he wants to be or can be the man that you fell in love with and married. That speaks volumes to your character. I hope it goes well and that you get the outcome that you wish for. More importantly I hope DH gets better. Trust me, we deal with a BiPolar BM and it is exhausing and stressful and never ending on us and in lieu of the turmoil that she has put us through I don't know how much energy I would have to give it it were DH personally with the mental illness.
Hugs my friend and I hope it all gets better on all fronts for you and your family.
Just because one opens her legs twice, does not a mother make! ~ ME ~ }:-P
Ferret
I echo exactly what Princip said. Your courage and your devotion to your DH does speak volumes to your character and intergity. I hope he can get the help he needs and become the man he was that you fell in love with.
You have so much on your plate and I will keep you in my prayers.
"Of course things worked out nicely for Carol Brady...she had a live-in maid and Mike's first wife was DEAD!"
I think when you know what
I think when you know what the problem is that it is maybe not easier to handle but better than thinking it is something you did. Now that we know it's a physical problem I can deal with that. I'm not above wrestling him down and making him take his pills. I do it with the animals all the time and he's no different than a mule. I think if I can hold down a squirming 3yr old I can hold down H.
For a long time after I left my ex I thought it was my fault and felt like I had done something to make him act the way he did. It took a good therapist to help me understand that it wasn't me. I hated feeling like that again and now I know it still wasn't me. He will never not quilt parent but I can and will remove the source of a lot of our problems. The day she graduates she's out of here. Here's $500.00 don't let the door hit you on the way out. I think I'm being generous by giving her any money. It feels good to get myself back. I did a lot of thinking and came to the conclusion that I was being a wimp and doormat. If I can flee a country pregnant and with a toddler and not get killed I can protect my home and husband from a snotty teenager.
Bravo
You are very generous to try to help sort this out with h. Hopefully with meds and counseling you can get back to the way it should be. Fingers crossed!!!
"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin