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We lost my MIL last night

ferretmom's picture

Submitted by ferretmom on Mon, 03/30/2009 - 8:13pm

MIL had open heart surgery Fri., her doctor told her she only had a 15% chance of survival but without the surgery there was no chance of her lasting another week. She passed on last night, she had been in so much pain the last few years. I'm very worried about H, he has all this anger building inside him. He and his mother had a lot of problems until I came along and they had made up. So losing her now is really hurting him. I'm watching him closely in case he has a breakdown. I'm hoping for a breakthrough instead. It breaks my heart knowing he's in pain and that there is nothing I can do to make it go away. I think what's hurting him most is that sd didn't go see her and hasn't shed one tear. All she had to say was "Does this mean I get to stay out of school?" How can she be so cold hearted?

Comments

B's picture

Submitted by B on Mon, 03/30/2009 - 8:25pm

I'm so sorry FM. Prayers are going out to your family.

I don't understand how SD can be so stone hearted. That is so sad...

Anon2009's picture

Submitted by Anon2009 on Mon, 03/30/2009 - 8:57pm

about your and DH's loss. I hope that one day SD will realize that she should have acted differently. You're all in my thoughts and prayers.

Sasha's picture

Submitted by Sasha on Mon, 03/30/2009 - 9:02pm

My condolences to both you and your H. You'll both be in my prayers tonight.

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}

Shaman29's picture

Submitted by Shaman29 on Mon, 03/30/2009 - 9:22pm

My thoughts are with you too. I hope your H is able to find some peace in his heart during this time. I'm glad he and his mom were able to repair their relationship. Not everyone has the opportunity to resolve differences before a loved one passes.

As for the SD.....I didn't get a chance to check her age but most kids are self centered by nature. Ignore her and comfort your H. She may break down at the service. Or she may just brush this off. All that matters is how you are and how your H is...don't worry about anyone else.

Hugs to you and your husband and your families during this time.

Never eat more than you can lift.
Miss Piggy

The Principlist's picture

Submitted by The Principlist on Mon, 03/30/2009 - 9:30pm

WOW. My prayers go out to you and your family right now. I hope that DH is ok. As for SD, she's not worth the energy. Some people will try to make everything about them. Focus on what is important your husband's well-being. Ignore the rest as you guys have enough on your plate right now.

Just because one opens her legs twice, does not a mother make! ~ ME ~ }:-P

imagr8tma's picture

Submitted by imagr8tma on Mon, 03/30/2009 - 9:43pm

your family. I hope your DH is okay and doesn't have a breakdown.

AND i agree with Principlist - put your energy into your husband right now.

SD will be her same old self regardless.

bewitched's picture

Submitted by bewitched on Mon, 03/30/2009 - 10:27pm

"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere

How is your FIL doing? I know he's been so thoughtful of you; my condolences to you all.

ferretmom's picture

Submitted by ferretmom on Mon, 03/30/2009 - 10:47pm

FIL and MIL have been divorced for almost 40yrs, it's SFIL that we're worried about. He has Parkinson's and depended on MIL for everything. We finally convinced him to call his daughter in CAL today. Hopefully when she gets here we can come up with an idea on how to help him. It took a while but I got H to go to sleep a couple of hours ago. I had to get his doctor to call in a scrip for something to help him sleep.

melis070179's picture

Submitted by melis070179 on Tue, 03/31/2009 - 11:09am

What is WITH his daughter???!!! Did she actually say that TO HIM? Thats so sad!! I'm sorry Sad

"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy"

lil_teapot's picture

Submitted by lil_teapot on Tue, 03/31/2009 - 11:27am

and your family at this terrible time. I'm very sorry for what you've all been through.
It's a very unfortunate time for H to see his kid's true colors.

ferretmom's picture

Submitted by ferretmom on Tue, 03/31/2009 - 11:50am

This morning SFIL calls and asks if H would like to come pick out something of his mother's as a remembrance. I'm sure he was talking about pictures and personal items, anyway sd comes up with the idea that it means she can get MIL's computer. WTF!!! How selfish can a person be?? H tells her NO that isn't what SFIL meant and she gets all whiny and snarky. It really hit the fan when H tells me that MIL wanted me to have her engagement and wedding rings. She knew that I used to wear my grandmother's until I was mugged and they were stolen. I'm very honored that she wanted me to have her rings. When sd hears H telling me this she turned into a raging bitch. I so wanted to slap the S@%$T right out of her!! I still might before the day is out. Thank you all for your sympathy it means a lot to me.

Harleygal's picture

Submitted by Harleygal on Tue, 03/31/2009 - 12:26pm

You're in my prayers today.

"OCD sucks"
Habit and routine have an unbelievable power to destroy.
--Henri de Lubac

sweetthing's picture

Submitted by sweetthing on Tue, 03/31/2009 - 1:33pm

out to you. I am so sorry that it is one more thing you have to deal with. I think DH shouldn't discuss this any further infront of SD. What an evil vile person she is. I am so glad he is seeing her for what she really is. Aren't BP meds amazing!

sarahbernheart's picture

Submitted by sarahbernheart on Tue, 03/31/2009 - 1:44pm

is lucky to have you at his side.
my thoughts to you and him and a big fat kick for you SD.
hugs

"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."

doglover1's picture

Submitted by doglover1 on Tue, 03/31/2009 - 1:47pm

Its not easy losing a parent. My other passed away last year and it was very difficult. Prayers for your family go up. I also agree with sweetthing, dont let sd know anything. How old is she?

stepmom2one's picture

Submitted by stepmom2one on Tue, 03/31/2009 - 3:55pm

I am so sorry.

Sadly the quote is actually what I would expect from my SD. IMHO is doesn't matter how old she is, that comment was way out of line.

Sita Tara's picture

Submitted by Sita Tara on Tue, 03/31/2009 - 4:01pm

My thoughts are with you and your family.

I hope your H can find peace with his loss and their relationship.

"When you take charge of your life, there is no longer need to ask permission of other people or society at large. When you ask permission, you give someone veto power over your life." ~Geoffrey F. Abert

Most Evil's picture

Submitted by Most Evil on Tue, 03/31/2009 - 6:27pm

I am so sorry to hear. A MIL can be a valuable friend, and I know you ALL will miss her. Just feel free to (figuratively) smack SD around if she yaps any further!! Praying for you all. Sad

"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin

JMC's picture

Submitted by JMC on Wed, 04/01/2009 - 12:08am

JamaicanMeCrazy
DISNEY LIED...THERE IS NO 'HAPPILY EVER AFTER'

My heart goes out to you, my friend. Please know you and your DH are in my thoughts and prayers during this difficult time. What a generous MIL to have thought of you regarding her rings. I'm sickened that your SD chooses to show her ignorance and ill manners at this time - this is not something your DH or you, or any other family members need to be dealing with right now;since she obviously doesn't appear to be concerned about her grandmother's passing, maybe she could spend some time with a close friend of the family or someone so you won't have to bear her attitude during the funeral or visitation? Maybe this is her way of dealing with death, but it certainly isn't appropriate. God bless you & yours, FM.