I never read this asshole's advice anymore. It's either WRONG, or she tells the writer to get counseling.

I can understand waiting a month or two but a year or two?? NO as I said before she is usually wrong.

I imagine a 20 year old intern writes her advice column anyway...

I guess I am a complete bitch then, 'cuz my SD did not have a room that was JUST hers, filled with all of her stuff for EOWE visits. Yes, she had a room and we called it hers but it was still the spare room.

If the man needs a year or two to get used to his daughter going to college, he's got bigger issues than a bedroom.

Ha Ha- not the same but I remember when my older sister moved out and I had half of my stuff in her room before she was even moved out. She had the bigger bedroom and I wanted it. LOL She was like "Geez can you even wait until I am gone?"

When SS moved out, I gave it 1 weekend before I transformed his bedroom into our guest room.

As soon as SD goes to college her room will be repainted and her crap moved to the storage room out back!! Can't wait!! 1007 days and counting!!!

Is the daughter going to come back and visit on the weekends? I think I would leave the room alone until they see if the skid will come back and visit much. I would say give it 6 month or so and see how much she visits. If she does not visit then DH will be more happy with changing the room.

If she is still visiting once or twice a month then I would leave the room alone.

"Trust me on this," says Dear Abby, "you'll look like a saint." There goes all her credibility right there. Who of us has ever felt that anyone viewed us as a saint? Even after doing way more for the skids than refrain from re-purposing their UNUSED room?

Good grief, the naiveté of Abby's response and the holy righteous thunder of the Torquemada crowd in the comments....just no one ever told me how I was going to become the village scapegoat after signing that marriage license. The viciousness revealed in that thread is breathtaking.

I also detect elitism in Abby's response. The grand digs she undoubtedly lives in probably have more than one guest room in them before you even start counting absent kids rooms. She's not thinking about the imposition on a family or couple an unused room will have in the average or small house.

I had to give up my home office when I moved into my dh's house. And I had to give up a better neighborhood, better floor plan, much bigger garage, altogether everything better when I agreed to move into his bachelor dad house. This was a sacrifice I made because he said he loved his house and neighborhood and he rarely asks for anything for himself. But the realities are it drives me batty to live in this house. I can't do it forever. If I thought I had to live in this house and preserve it in its current condition for years more than necessary because SD might come home for a weekend as an adult or DH was mooning about her turning into an adult, an event that had been planned and expected for 18 years and 9 months, I would explode into sub-atomic particles.

I just posted a scathing comment under the name of Motherof4. Those people are ridiculous :jawdrop: I can't believe the amount of pure vitriol hatred that was directed towards her for wanting to change a room not being used anymore to a guest room....Just goes to prove that we have now turned into a society that says parents lives MUST revolve around their children whether they are 2 or 40.