Just a Question to Biomoms.....
Our Bm is the psycho variety "you'll never see your kids again." "Please come back to me, I love you." "You're a whore, you're a bitch..." So, when SO finally gets his daughter, SD4, she NEVER calls. She never checks on her, never asks if we need anything. Well, correction, she calls to cry on the phone to the 4 year old for her baby to come home, and I mean crying. So, my question is, (I'm not a BM) shouldn't, wouldn't, a mom want to know how her child is? Wouldn't she want to know what she is doing, what kind of SM I am (besides a whore), if the child is eating correctly, if she is sleeping ok? Wouldn't she want to communicate the child's peculiarities rather than leaving us to find out? If I have to leave my birds with someone for vacation, I call or e-mail to see if they are all right and adjusting. Shouldn't a mom?
F.
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I never felt a need to check
I never felt a need to check on my boys when they were at their father's for the week. And I would certainly have been irritated if he called to check on them when they were with me.
Thank you, everyone, for your
Thank you, everyone, for your input. You're all right in some ways. The problem is that there is no court order for custody as they are not divorced yet. BM has vowed for father never to see his children again. She's PAS'd the older boys quite effectively but hasn't been able to break the 4 year old's spirit or bond with her father (yet). So, when he manages to take her, he keeps her for a long time, at least a week. She did manage to keep her away for almost 8 months. So, he does know his child, but a lot of time went by. And she is emotionally sick, and he is a good father, and she can trust him, he's a better parent than her. I agree with Blender, I think it's a martyr's cry for attention, the rotten father took her child away...
I guess that I'm thinking if I were the mom, I would call and ask if everything was alright. Especially if she was being taken care of by my ex's girlfiend. I know I'm a great SM, but how does she know? Sometimes I want to ask questions about her food because she's a picky eater. I don't mean call all the time, just check in every few days. Father calls her but she never answers the phone. Now that the child is back with her mother he cannot contact her, even to say goodnight to his children. I anticipate that she will do jail time for violating custody/visitation orders in the future. Illinois has a relatively new law that if a parent interferes with the other's custody/visitation time 3 times, there is a jail sentence of a few days and it escalates. I think Blender and others are right that it's not about the kids. She sends her out underdressed for the weather causing us to keep a well stocked dresser for her. She doesn't seem to care about those small details. Then she will demand a return of the crappy clothes she sent her out in, yet we send her back dressed cleanly and nicely with extras in the bag. I know I'm rambling, but I just love my birds so much that whenever someone watches them I call. My SO even lets me talk to them on the phone from work (crazy bird lady). I would think a mom would feel the same way.
F.