People don't win court cases just because. There has to be a very good reason to switch custody from one parent to the other.

Court mode is the most stressful of all the situations we SM's find ourselves in, IMO.

You poor thing. Try not to think about it too much and occupy yourself with something else while you wait. Come here often. The ladies here will help to keep you calm until court. It sounds like things will go your way anyway. If the GAL sees that your SD is happy with the arrangements already in place I see little reason why anything should be changed.

and am having every fear that you are. BM is taking us back to court/mediation to increase her parenting time.....just because. (The real reason is she wants more $$$) She has no reason except that she wants more recreation time(we have them every weekend). Our lawyer said that she probably won't be able to accomplish this, but when it goes before a judge it's always a crap shoot.

So no advice for you here, just a sympathetic shoulder. Hopefully, we'll both have good news in our future.

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain."

BM was irresponsible (always leaving 10 yr old SD alone in public places for several hours at night while she went out with BF.)She was highly confrontational, argumentative and refused to discuss anything regarding SD with DH (would hang up on him all the time rather than calmly discuss anything.)She wouldn't allow SD to call DH when she asked to. During the case BM would allow SD about 2 minutes to talk to DH and then wouldn't allow SD privacy or to even hold the phone herself. She would start fights over everything and physically threatened SD. She would try to manipulate SD through buying her things or promising her things. The last straw was that if SD picked a high school convenient to BM she would buy her a car. We had enough.

But it came down to SD's psychologist and the ad litem. Ad litem's report read as follows,

"Psychologist believes BM to have self-centered approach to relationships interfering with BM's ability to collaborate with Father or minor child regarding best interest of child....
Psychologist believes BM has difficulty understanding perspective of minor child

[HERE's THE BEST PART]

Psychologist notes Father and Stepmother collaborate well together, communicate honestly with minor child as well as have age appropriate rules for minor child. Psychologist believes collaborative environment is necessary to raise a healthy adolescent, and Minor child has best chance to flourish in Father and SM's home.

Therefore it is the opinion of this GAL, that Father be granted full custody with BM to have scheduled companionship every other weekend and one weeknight."

This report came out a few days before our trial date. And the day before court I got a call from our attorney while DH was still at work. Attorney said, "She's caving."

Music to our ears. We think that she was so afraid to have a psych exam (we had requested a psych exam in the initial suit)that her attorney must have told her the judge would likely grant one based on the ad litem/SD's psychologist's thoughts.

Though the inside of the court room and hearing our bull dog attorney rattle BM on the stand would have been musical too. But it was over
Peace, love, and red wine

We have a CASA (Court Appointed Social Advocate) currently assigned to our case and the waiting and not knowing what will happen is literally driving me crazy!

It looks as though the Casa is siding with us and is seeing through bm, I wouldn't be surprised if she came back with something similar to the conclusion zenmom's psychiatrist came up with.

Still we don't know anything for sure and it is very hard. I seriously considered calling a psychic just to tell me what the outcome was going to be!! UNFORTUNATELY, they are lying about that whole free 10 minutes thing, lol.

We WANT bm take a psych evaul so badly because we truly believe it would show her true colors and further validate our side.

I know how you feel, this is very hard.

They should meet with both of you. Ours was very fair, unbiased, listened to both of us for as long as we wanted to talk. Funny enough, it turned out that we talked for hours with her while BM only talked for 20 mins or so. When that report came back we had so many things in it and BM had like two. One of which was this-

When they divorced the agreement said that BM paid for before/after school care. DH paid for weeklong trips/camps.

Nowhere did it say who paid for summer care.

So the first year DH paid for almost all of it b/c she refused to pay any. They had put SD in a "Fun and Swim Camp" daycare at a local swim club. B/c camp was in the name BM stated DH had to pay for ALL of daycare.

The next year I stayed home. So DH wasn't even USING daycare. He offered BM to drop SD off here every day (which would have sucked for me but I was here with my sons already so it made financial sense.) BM stated, "No way will SHE watch my daughter on MY day" (-side note- unless SD was sick and BM would have to miss work. Then she would drop her off to me every time.)

Anyway, DH refused to pay any of daycare the next two summers.

Throughout the court case all BM kept telling the mediator, the ad litem was that she was owed an amount that she said was one summer, but was actually the amount for both summers. During the whole nine month process, BM brought this up over and over again, along with the fact that she thought DH husband wanted full custody to get out of 500 bucks a month child support. She spent THOUSANDS trying to get about 1500 bucks for daycare costs. Crazy. But once again it was clear that the case was about money for her.

Now SHE pays us 365 a month We keep 500 bucks a month. In the first year we figure we will have broken even with the cost of the case. And now that she won't even buy lunch for SD on her days (let SD go without lunch when she came from her house several times before I knew.)

Good luck. If you stay active in your case it is entirely helpful to the outcome. Sounds like BM is very active.

Oh- and ALWAYS ask for a psych eval. A lot comes out of it.
Peace, love, and red wine

Our court date is in November. I am so scared. The CASA has met with both sides and has spoken with most of our contacts.
It really seems as if things are looking good for us but I don't want to get my hopes up.

BM just married also and is now moving out of her parent's house. I'm scared because she has NEVER taken care of the kids, she has always pawned them off on her parents, her sister, my mother-in-law, anyone just so long as she didn't have to care for them.
Well now she has moved 1-2 hours away from her family and will be taking "care" of the kids herself.
That is truly a scary thought.

My mother-in-law is going to bring that up to the CASA.

This waiting game and not knowing what is going to happen is KILLING me. I know that its out of my hands, I have done my part (in terms of supplying information to the CASA) and now I have to hand it over to God. It is sooooo hard.

I really feel for you, you're in my prayers.

Have her I mean??

Our BM is also shooting herself in the foot. She continues to speak about innapropriate adult subjects with SD and SD reports that to the CASA. Casa has seen that SD is afraid of upsetting BM and that SD doesn't want BM to "get in trouble".

BM is placing SD in the middle of our 'adult issues' and it is showing, God I hope we have her.

I can't imagine why else they would want your family photos? But really, what can they use the photos for?

I would take peace in the fact that they are indeed grasping for anything at this point; which means that they don't have a case to begin with.