*Eyeroll*
It's BM3's week with SD7 this week.
Last week, while SD7 was here, BM3's on again off again boyfriend of about 4 1/2 years texted DH and said he was in the neighborhood and could he come by and chat, pick DH's brain for a while. DH of course said, "Sure!" and Boyfriend came over and talked to DH for a couple of hours. Turns out he broke up with BM3 this past week and was pretty broken up about it, but just doesn't think she's marriage material, based largely on a couple of huge lies he had caught her in, and the fact that she's unwilling to accept responsibility for anything that she does or her contributions to the degeneration of several situations in her life, her marriage to DH being one of them.
So I started off the weekend irritated with her.
This weekend DH asked her for some time with SD7 on Sunday, to attend a birthday party and another special event that was only happening that day. She blew him off and never answered him, so SD7 was the ONLY child that didn't get to go on this outing. This wouldn't be a big deal except for the fact that DH is supposed to have SD7 over spring break, during which he is taking a few days of vacation time to hang with the kiddos. BM3 didn't exercise her visitation with her DS14 last time she had the opportunity, so SD7 hasn't seen her brother from BM3 in a year or so. BM3 asked to have SD7 over spring break since she will supposedly have her son here at that time, so they can all spend time together. Of course DH agreed, as this will benefit SD7 to see her brother. Now he's irritated (and so am I) that it's all fine and good to be flexible on our end, but when it comes to BM3, she doesn't feel inclined to be flexible.
This was capped off by the fact that I woke up to several texts from her this morning asking about something that we enrolled SD7 in at school (at the recommendation of SD7's teachers, and only after having spoken to BM3 about it because there were transportation issues).
I've threatened before, but it's seriously tempting to disengage from contact with the BMs. I've been dealing with BM2 over Skype sessions (she lives out of state and feels that she should be able to text and say she wants to Skype, and we should all stop what we're doing so that can happen) and summer visitation. She's rude and belligerent, and it's not my responsibility to deal with her or facilitate for her at all, and I'm about to tell her that in response to the next rude or demanding text I get. "I don't have time to deal with you. I'm busy parenting this child. Deal with your ex on it."
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Comments
you have 3
you have 3 BM's?????........... :jawdrop:
Yes. And I'd like to run over
Yes. And I'd like to run over two of them with a freight train. Repeatedly
We agreed today that it is
We agreed today that it is also not MY job to deal with them, and that from here on out, I won't.
DH is nice to his BMs and doesn't have any problem dealing with them himself. However, he works full time during the day and often isn't able to field calls and texts from them. I work evenings and am home with the kids during the day, and I deal with most of the school stuff, coordinating, etc. They've always been able to call or text about pickup or dropoff or to make other arrangements because I was the person they'd likely have to meet. No more. Now, they can dropoff and pickup when DH can meet them, and they can have their questions answered when DH can answer them.
I'm changing my cell number tomorrow. They can call the house phone or text DH and wait for an answer.
It never ceases to amaze me how BMs will have a decent, even a nice stepmom to deal with their kids, and they will hassle her until she shuts them down, and then they act like they have no idea why nobody wants anything to do with them. Same as BM3 had no idea why her first husband walked out on her and no idea why her second husband walked out on her, and no idea why her boyfriend of almost 5 years just gave her her walking papers. It's never her. Always somebody else.