i got my hair cut this morning, and went to a new person/salon to get it done. i wind up trying new places all the time, because apparently its really easy to butcher my pixie cut, and i end up looking like a angry toddler. so i meet her and we talk, and of course the conversation turns to family....and i tell her a bit about mine. she says i look tired and down, which i do. i ask about her family, and she says "oh its a mine, his and ours deal-my daughter is 19, my son is 17, his daughter is 15 and our kid together is 9". so we're talking and she seems really happy with her marriage and family. i ask her to share what they think they've done right, as i am exhausted and at a loss here.

she says that they have been married 11 years, and back then there was still a lot of talk about "it takes a village to raise a child" and they liked that. she had a long talk with her dh before getting married and her dh told her: "i trust myself to parent my kid, i trust my sister and my parents to do the same. i've asked you to be my life partner, so therefore, i trust you too." and they put complete and total trust in each other to discipline, support and educate all of their kids.

she said it was like "holding on to a stick". they both took hold and never let it go. i asked if it ever backfired....if a bio kid came running to bio-parent to be bailed out. she said of course. "but we have each other's back-no letting go of the stick". i asked what the challenges were and she said "bm". (lol)

this makes so much sense to me. its about trust. her dh must have overcome any fear of "losing" the kids and allowed her to parent equally. they are obviously solid in their marriage. i am insanely jealous. but i got a great hair cut, and a lot of wisdom, and she got double the tip