It is very hard to get motivated when you feel like you are in a black hole. You have to get yourself in the right state of mind and take it one day at a time, one step at a time.

You first have to make the decision that you want to do something about it and envision yourself doing it. Then, of course, you have to actually do it.

First, let the BM "is she pregnant, is she not pregnant" go. Do not waste your energy on thinking about her.

What would make you feel better? Getting your house in order? Start with one room at a time. Or give the whole house a cursory once over, then deep clean a room at a time. I'm not really sure how you've let the house go but I assume as far as cleaning or clutter.

As far as yourself, again, what would make you feel better about you? Eating right, working out, finding an interesting hobby? Start with one thing that will make you feel better, you will be surprised how it can snowball.

But you have to make that first move and it's hard. You have to make yourself do it, even if you'd rather sit on the couch or whatever.

Do you make your bed as soon as you get up? Do you get dressed as soon as you get up? Do you sleep in or get up early? I found out a long time ago that sleeping late, not making the bed, and staying in pajamas for any length of time made me feel like crap. Seemingly little things but that's depression for ya.

Maybe you and your DH could do some things together that would make you feel better. Go for walks or would he help you with the house? DH and I will clean and then take a wine break. I love sitting in my clean house, drinking wine.

I know, it sucks. You feel bad so you don't want to do anything, and not doing anything makes you feel bad. It's a vicious cycle that I am very familiar with.

Start with your animal needs. Drink some water, have a healthy snack, take a shower and maybe a nap.

I'm no professional but you sound very down and depressed. Losing interest in every day things and losing interest in yourself and struggling to feel good is a few signs of depression. Perhaps you could go to a counselor/therapist that deals with depression? Sometimes just talking to someone and hearing their unbiased views and advice helps a lot. They can help get you started on doing little things to start to help yourself feel a bit better.

I'll tell you what has worked for me. I had to take 5 days off from work and suffer suffer suffer. I got off all sugar and flour and refined garbage. seriously. It was 5 days of sugar withdrawl and headaches and crankiness and pure hell but after that "OH MY GOSH" . I had no more need of daily naps and I had tons of energy and purpose. I did that last December right before New Years. so last week, I kinda slipped on my good eating habits and reawaken the sugar addiction by eating a bunch of junk and sure enough I have spent a whole week tired and exhausted and cranky and not doing anything. No cleaning. No taking my kids anywhere special. I know why. so after I get off Thursday I have 10 days off in a row and I'm going to do it again. Get off the sugar and cearal and processed junk! and Did I mention I lost 30 lbs this year with no exercise at all?!?!?! and just 5 days of eating bad again and I'm bloated and my clothes don't fit.

Also you have to tell yourself daily that you only get to control you. Not DH or SD or BM. Only you. And don't let BM have space in your head.

Recently I blogged how six and half years ago my husband that I loved loved loved left his email up and I discovered a four year affair with a married woman. I was 7 months pregnant with our third daughter and working two jobs to support us. Devastated doesn't begin to describe how my life came crashing down around my ears. I was literally hospitalized. After the baby was born and I was a single mom to three kids and in a custody battle and having to work two jobs to keep my house and pay my bills and then I broke my arm and my doctor very briefly put me on antidepressants. I don't suffer from a chemical imbalance but I needed a little crutch to help me get through the rough patch and it did help. It took about a month to kick in and I only spent a few months on it but I worked those two jobs and I promoted and I kept my home and yes in six years I've had some troubles but ... I recently looked up that other woman that was sleeping with my husband for all those years. She has a blog and it was very very pitiful. That woman blogged oct 18 from the mental hospital where she was committed for being suicidal and she was diagnosed as being bipolar and she's been unemployed for years and years and years and is always being evicted and she lost custody of her kids and hasn't been on any dates in all that time and she's just a total total loser. Added to that she's suffered a stroke last January and she's disabled. The Kharma bus hit that woman hard. But you know what? Some of it is the choices she has made. Some of it is her untreated mental illness. I used to worry a lot and give that woman a lot of space in my head. I haven't for six years and something made me check in on her and I was really surprised at where her life has taken her. I bet if you do the same and quit letting BM have space in your head which will be easier to do when the SD's are grown and gone and if you check in briefly years down the road - you'll see her craptastic choices and meanness will catch up with her but you really won't care because you'll be living your wonderful life. On the whole, I really like my life but we all have ups and downs.