Excuses...excuses,...excuses....
SS wanted to come w/me & my daughter to join my family's halloween party. we don't have him on halloween, so i told ss that i would ask his mother. i never got in touch w/his mom, then ss told me that his mother said he cannot go to the party because its a school night. he would have gone trick or treating anyways at his neighborhood, what the hell is the difference? i was going to invite her too, didn't mind if she came or not.
then another excuse, my daughter's bday, i invite ss & his mom to come join me & daughter to celebrate. i had told ss earlier that week about the plan & that i would ask his mother. ss wanted to go and spend the time w/us & his sister's bday. i ask his mother and she says no, got plans.
okay so i get the picture...ex don't want to see me or be around me...or don't want son to be around daughter & I.....not sure which is it. does it kill her that i'm nice enough to invite her??? sounds to me i should stop inviting ss and his mother....how do you guys deal w/wanting ss to join celebrations when you don't have them that day of the event? hard to schedule another celebration when we do have ss sometimes.
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Comments
Less of a problem now...
My stepson used to miss a lot of events. There was nothing we could do. Biomom was totally inflexible so we stopped even asking. Things have gotten better since we got custody and she had another child. Now SHE is the one asking/needing stepson for events when he is here. So, if we let stepson go to things at her house on our time, she is kind of forced to do the same.
We are having a Halloween issue too. Stepson is supposed to be at biomom's this Halloween but he wants to trick-or-treat with his best friend, who happens to be our neighbor. So biomom has agreed to let stepson trick-or-treat in our neighborhood as long as he goes with his two and a half year old sister first. That's fine with us too. I will be at home that whole night anyway, handing out candy and operating our Halloween display!
It's all about both sides being flexible for the benefit of the stepkids. It sounds like your ss's biomom isn't to that point yet.
Dawn
thanks dawn...i never use to
thanks dawn...i never use to invite mom & ss to do stuff w/me but i've opened up...but since i've gotten all these excuses not being able to attend...i'm pretty tired and will stop asking her. it's not to benefit me, it's for the children. i guess she doesn't see it that way. i won't worry about it, it's obvious she doesn't want to see me or my daughter...so be it. have fun w/the kids on halloween.
-happy mom
RE:
I wouldn't stop. Just keep inviting them and let ss see that you're the one who wants him included and biomom is the one going out of her way to avoid you. Then SHE'LL be the one having to answer the question "Why don't you like stepmom?"
*~So sayeth Nymh~*
nymh..thanks for your
nymh..thanks for your input...you see we never use to invite each other before and i've opened up to the fact that i would invite her and it's for the sake of the kids and put aside our differences. but it's obvious that she doesn't want to be around me so i don't see the point of asking her again and again....ss use to react in a way that his mother doesn't like me...because when i use to suggest to ss that we can all go out to a picnic together he said i don't that's a good idea......i know what you mean by keep asking but hard to keep going when all i get is rejection. if ss brings up the 2 events, i'll just say your mom said no. it's sad for the kids to think that both parents can't be seen together....anyways, i'm a positive thinker and won't let this issue bother me. thanks again....
-happy mom
right, she probably hates my
right, she probably hates my guts deep inside and nice on the outside when i see her.....what the heck is that? i can't seem to understand the 2 personalities anyone can do. thanks.
-happy mom