My sister-in-law would never hang out with biomom after all of the mean and horrible things that biomom has done to my husband over the years. She knows how biomom is from when my husband was with biomom. Not to mention, I tell my sister-in-law the things that biomom is doing presently.

I am glad that my sister-in-law backs me and my husband. It helps to have the moral support.

What does your husband say about that?

Dawn

Dear Happy Mom,
Boy! Have I seen this happen! A word of advice--zip the lip before it bits you! My husband's side of the family is full of bold, two-faced manipulators. When my husband confronted his mother about her behavior at our wedding, she denied it, even though we had videotape with footage and audio from her nasty mouth and my sister-in-laws.
My husband doesn't speak with them; but then again, they act very low class and we don't have the need or desire to do that. It was bad enough they ruined our wedding. This was a real horror story.
Regards,
Sweetie

Dear Happy Mom,
With regard to your inevitable forthcoming conversation with sister in law, I'd just steer clear of anything personal. Only speak of generalities from now on. It won't take her long to realize that she's no longer "in the loop" and can't repeat any more information. Your husband's problems (and yours, of course) make her feel better and more successful in front of your husband's mom.
Even though we're supposed to mature as adults, she is probably getting a certain amount of satifaction knowing that she could take the information, and partially control the outcome. Once you take that power away, what does she have? I know that it's really hard not to say what you really are thinking, but just save till later when you get on line. If you can't get on line, I'd suggest getting a very private, secure diary so that you can write and vent your frustrations. Let us know how you are doing because we understand exactly what is happening.
Regards,
Sweetie

I hope you can talk with your sister-in-law and develop an independant relationship with her. You still may have to watch what is said but that could change over time.

Before my husband, I had a long relationship with a man I lived with. We never had children but I became very attached to his family. When we split I lost so much more than a 1 on 1 relationship. I missed them desperatly for such a long time. Your sister-in-law is also auntie to biomom's children. It may be hard for you, but it could be good for the children. I'm sorry, this probally isn't what you wanted to hear.

I just don't think that I would be able to feel like I could be open and honest when taking to the sister-in-law knowing that she hangs out with the ex. It's not comfortable to have to think about and analyze everything that you say just in case it got back to biomom. That is why we don't have any mutual friends that biomom has. It just doesn't work.

Dawn