I don't think you should talk to her about it. Since you say she is overall a good kid, I'd word it like I would someone more like a roommate. Everyone doesn't see the same messes as each other. She may not even notice the trash (this is possible). I'd just say, "Hey SD, if there is trash by the door, would you mind taking it on your way out?" or "When you get home earlier than me, it would really help me out if you picked up the house, or at least your stuff." That way it isn't a huge deal, you arne't micromanaging her, and it (hopefully) gets done. With things like the cabinet, don't close them for her, "Hey SD, you left the cabinet doors open." If she has to get up and close them every time she forgets, maybe she won't forget as much. This is how I "trained" skid to turn off lights in the house. I never do it for them.

Maybe you could even have a real talk with her about chores in general. She's 15, she's a good kid. She's probably too old for a chore list. Maybe just tell her you think she's getting too old for it. Obviously, those things need to be done regularly, but also, XYZ needs to be done around the house on a regular basis, I'd like to treat you more like an adult, so it would be great if you could help out with these things regularly. If not, you could certainly go back to a chore list with those things added.

I think a lot of kids have so much direction that they can no longer think for themselves. Ideally, you could have this conversation with her, she could appreciate you treating her like a more grown up person, and she will help out in the ways you need her to. Otherwise, I guess micromanaging and adding to the chore list is a more viable option.

Is she bringing up driving? If so, I think it's a great opportunity to just have a conversation like this...

SD: blah blah blah driving blah blah drivers ed blah blah driving test

You or DH: Driving is a big step and a really exciting thing for a teenager and a big mile stone and definitely something to be excited about. The thing is, driving is an "adult" responsibility. You have to make sure that you have fuel, washer fluid, oil changed/maintenance regularly along with car insurance and of course just the overall practicing and learning. I would really like to believe that you are capable of all of that but I really need to see you making good decisions without being micromanaged for example: taking out the trash, putting your dishes in the sink etc. etc. Now you may think that one of them has nothing to do with the other but this is all part of being an adult. etc. etc.

My SD15 is the same way! But she is a lazy slob because DH allows it. She has not one shred of responsibility. DH's go to excuses are "she's doing good in school" "she's busy with sports" or "you never saw how she was living at BM's" To me those are all just lazy parent excuses. I'm wondering if it is the same at your house, because you say that SD had chores at BMs. Well, probably because BM TOLD her to do stuff. No 15 year old is going to go chop wood for the hell of it. My horses would starve to death before SD15 ever noticed on her own that they didn't have hay for 12 days. You know what I mean?

I agree with your DH here... he (or you both) need to set up clear communication as to what is expected of SD. This is where DH and I epically failed when SD15 moved in with us, there was no guidelines set forth, no expectations, no nothing, just move on in and the world shall now revolve around you. It's way harder to backpedal from that, than to set up clear guidelines going in.

Sounds like my SDs clone. I can immediately tell if SD is at our house or BMs just walking in the front door. I have bitched and bitched and bitched to DSO about her picking up after herself. He won't say a word and I refuse to engage that much. I do not pick up 1 thing that is hers when I straighten up. I leave her mess and DSO will clean it up when we are cleaning house on weekends.

Say something! We only have ourselves to blame if we don't like a behavior our child does. Call them out every time and eventually, they get it. Seriously tapping my head on my desk. Just call out the behavior every time. Don't yell, just be matter of fact.

She can't drive until she is more in tuned to what is going on in the house. She has to wake up.!

My DH is 44 years old and he walks by the garbage bag 100x and unless I say, "Hey, please take this downstairs" he will leave it there.
He will wake up after me on weekends and won't make the bed. He will see there is no milk or bread, go to the store, buy himself soda and donuts and won't buy milk or bread.
He will step on his t-shirt and underwear out of the shower and will leave it there despite the hamper being right in front of his face.
He let SD13 leave on Sunday without making her bed. Today is Tuesday, the bed remains unmade and it will stay that way until she comes back in 2 weeks.
He'll empty the dryer, throw the clothes on the couch and won't fold it. BS16 will drag the garbage cans to the curb, DH will drag them back, but he'll leave them outside the garage doors instead of putting them inside. But, I am a NAG.
Honestly, I am getting fed up & I'm about to blow a gasket on him real soon.

I'm 40 and I'm still like that. One word: ROUTINES.

Give SD a couple of routines. Like, Coming Home Routine, After Dinner Routine and Before Bed Routine.

Coming Home - 2 x 3 activities. Like, Hang up coat and change clothes, Empty Dishwasher, Have snack; then Do Assigned Dinner Chore (chop veggies or whatever), Clean countertop, Take out garbage.

After Dinner - 1 x 3 activities. Clear Table, Rinse Dishes & Load Dishwasher, Run Dishwasher

Before Bed (to be started 30 minutes before she needs to 'retire' the evening...) - 2 x 3 activities. Walk through living room and clean up any clutter she's left behind, Ditto kitchen, Get schoolwork organized for next day; then Turn Down her bed (basically make going to bed appealing), Lay out clothes for tomorrow, Beauty Routine (wash face, brush teeth, etc)

And homework fits in wherever depending on her schedule.

This is the ONLY way I can live. Otherwise, when I wake up, I am shocked at the mess some idiot left all over my house. Oooops, that was me.