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What is the Best Advice You Have Recieved From Step Talk?

HappyCow's picture

Submitted by HappyCow on Fri, 12/19/2014 - 7:55am

I don't know who said or if it was in the comments to another blog but someone posted that they can't be anymore of a parent to the skids than the actual parent. This goes through my head on a daily basis. Thank you to whoever said it and sorry if I didn't get it 100% correct.

Every day I learn a little more from this site.

Thanks Ladies and Gentleman!

Comments

Jsmom's picture

Submitted by Jsmom on Fri, 12/19/2014 - 8:17am

Disengaging saved my marriage. It also, led to DH seeing SD for the problem she was.

thinkthrice's picture

Submitted by thinkthrice on Fri, 12/19/2014 - 8:40am

Disengagement.

And to know I wasn't alone--that there was a HUGE population of guilty parents out there--something I never knew and still can't wrap my head around.

Teas83's picture

Submitted by Teas83 on Fri, 12/19/2014 - 8:56am

For me, it wasn't any one piece of advice. I've gotten tons of great advice from people on here.

I also just appreciate the support in general. It's comforting to know that there ARE other people who understand what I go through in step-life. I love reading other people's experiences.

MommyNotMommy's picture

Submitted by MommyNotMommy on Fri, 12/19/2014 - 10:11am

Different moms, different rules. Just like not my circus not my monkeys gave me permission somehow to stop caring, that gave me permission to raise my son right without worrying about what's "fair." Because in the moment sure it's not fair that SD gets to eat treats all the time, but it's not fair to her that she'll be obese. I could fall into guilty parenting of my DS because he has to put up with SD. Lol

misSTEP's picture

Submitted by misSTEP on Fri, 12/19/2014 - 11:06am

Yeah, I was told that I was way too involved with my skids...and I totally was. I cared more than probably both their bios put together. I feel like I neglected my own son because of it. I was so lucky to have a son that was good and gave little drama while he was growing up.

B22S22's picture

Submitted by B22S22 on Fri, 12/19/2014 - 11:14am

"I refuse to gauge my success in life on the opinions of a couple snot-nosed skids."

Can't recall who said that, but it was in response to my very first post on this site.

Tuff Noogies's picture

Submitted by Tuff Noogies on Fri, 12/19/2014 - 11:31am

similar to OP's - "you cant care more than the actual parents".

i used to get to emotionally invested in life lessons and teaching them things and helping them so they'd grow into stable, grounded, well-rounded adults. i'd worry about too internet time, they types of music they listened to, how much sleep they got, if they were doing well in school, sports, and socially, all things like that.

i was spinning my wheels cuz i was worried more about that than dh or dumbass. so i stopped. and my stress level went wayyyyy down! thanks stalk!!