This weekend with the kids was, as my BF described it, "eventful." It was his weekend with the kids, and they were both a little sick.

On Saturday BF was called to work (he's on-call 24/7). It was only going to be a couple of hours, and he asked me if I would watch the kids. Well, first he talked about asking BM to take them because (he later told me) he didn't want me to feel obligated. I've never watched the kids before on my own, but it seemed like a good amount of time for me to try it out. It was actually just fine! FSD was watching her Saturday morning Disney shows, and FSS wanted to go dig in the dirt outside. When BF pulled back into the driveway (he must have sped the whole way, because he made it home in a little over an hour) he was surprised that neither of the kids ran up to greet him or anything like that. In fact, FSS was grinning on the porch with me because we (accidentally) dug up the landlords new flowers (they looked like weeds to me, oops).

When we went to the clothing store later, another surprising first-- BF held out his hand for FSS and FSS instead ran back to me and grabbed my hand. We were both a little taken aback. Then again at the grocery store BF and I split up to save time, and FSS followed me instead of BF. Later on that night FSS was asking a question and when BF answered the boy said "No, I was talking to Helena." I think BF was both a little butt-hurt and amused by that one.

It's all small stuff, but it meant a lot to me and to BF. BF was really touched. He told me I did a good job; he said he had been more afraid of asking me to watch the kids than he was afraid of how I would do with them. Still, when BF and I were talking about it later I told him that I was happy, but I was afraid to be too happy. I know that this is not stuff I should expect all the time, and maybe FSS was just wanting a more "mommyish" touch this weekend because he didn't feel very well. I don't know; I just don't want to get my hopes up too much, you know? When I told BF all this we started talking about the bad things that will, too, eventually crop up. He thought that the worst thing I could hear from them would be "You're not my mommy." I don't know if that's the worst though. I told him the worst would be a lot of little things piling up, or maybe something like "I wish you weren't with daddy" or "I wish mommy and daddy were back together." Well, we'll deal with that stuff when it comes. For now I'm going to bask in the little wins from this weekend. Hence, < happy dance >.