New Orleans, Braces, and WifeBeaters
I have been planning a short trip (4-5 days) to New Orleans for the Acadiens Festival in October for BF and I. I estimate it will be about $2,000 in total. I sent BF a text letting him know. I never heard back from him, but he's usually busy so I didn't think anything of it.
When I got home BF told me he got my text. He didn't sound very happy. He said BM had called him today. FSD needs braces. BM quoted $5000 for the first phase and $4500 for the second phase. They have no dental insurance, and BM will not be paying for any of this herself. It's likely that BF will pay half and BM's mother will pay the other half.
When I first heard the price I thought that was outrageous. I don't recall my braces costing that much. Then I did some research online and, while it does seem to be on the high end of the average range, it's not out of line. Most orthodontists have good payment plans, right? Ugggh. Poor BF. Looks like if we want to go on a trip I'll be paying for it.
Also, I've mentioned that we just moved into a SMALL town. Our property manager seemed really anal and he was kind of a pompous ass. BF disliked him because he kept dropping the fact that he's a contractor blah blah blah but his hands were smoother than mine. Anyway, BF went to the local bar the other day and when the people there heard we were renting they instantly knew which house and which property manager. Some old lady burst out "That f--king wife beater! He's a piece of s--t." Wow. I hope nothing ever breaks in our house. I didn't like him as it was. 
Oh small towns.
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That is an outrageous price
That is an outrageous price for braces!!!! Wow. Whatever happened to them costing about $3500.
So you will still go to New Orleans?
I KNOW! Someone better insure
I KNOW! Someone better insure those damn teeth! If she ever gets knocked in the mouth that's a $10K sucker-punch.
I think we'll still go to New Orleans. Last October we went to Vermont, and it was a really eye-opening experience for BF. He's never traveled much, but I have. Plus we've both wanted to go to New Orleans, and neither of us have been there before. It just sounds like fun!
I may have to pay for it, which sucks. I look at it this way: I don't have a kid to pay for. I love to travel, so I would go anyway even if I wasn't with BF. However, BF makes the trip that much more fun and memorable, so it's worth it for my own enjoyment to pay for him to come with me. It also makes me happy to know that he's happy an experiencing something new. If/when I have kids of my own, I will not have the opportunity to do this kind of thing, so might as well do it while I can!
Well thankfully BF is at
Well thankfully BF is at least taking my advice and not just handing her over the money in lump sum. He's going with her to the orthodontist next week to speak with him directly. Truly though, if that's what he's quoting, then I'm going to recommend that they see another orthodontist.
Thank you! After BF told me about it he calmed down and we got all excited about New Orleans. He LOVES Creole food so any tips would be awesome!!!
That seems high to me. Also,
That seems high to me. Also, there is a payment plan. BM pays one month and DH pays the other month. They have a book that they split up. Why does she not have to pay anything? He should take the kid somewhere else and get a quote. Also, he shouldn't pay for anything from BM until he sees a contract...
BM can't pay because she
BM can't pay because she doesn't have a real job. She works under the table doing things like hairdressing and in-house daycare. She's also been taking some classes at the community college I think. I frankly don't know how she even pays her rent; she rents a 3 bedroom house in a decent part of town. Her mother or her boyfriend must be giving her extra cash.
Anyway, BF will likely be paying the bulk of this, so I will definitely be helping him (though not financially). I already told him not to pay a dime until he sees the quote on paper and he understands it and is comfortable with the whole thing; he's taking that advice to heart. I wish I could go with him when he goes to the orthodontist, but I don't think that would create less tension with BM. I'd like him to take home the quote and then we could go over it together and also look into the particular orthodontist to see if he's reputable. Then we could also research another one and get second quote.
Unfortunately, I think you
Unfortunately, I think you might be correct. I did look into pricing ranges, and that price is not unheard of. I'd still like to double-check. If that's the price though when we double-check, then he'll pay it.
I don't know if there's anything specifically in the DD about braces, but I think medical and dental are supposed to be shared equally. Of course, BM has no money so she cannot pay her share. I don't know what's in the agreement about that, if there's anything. I know that she failed to pay an emergency bill and let it go to the collections agency. They couldn't get money from her, so they came after BF. It really hurt his credit score, which worried us when we were going through the rental application process.
BF didn't know that BM even took the kids to the orthodontist, but I guess their dentist recommended it. I think that BM has always been the one to take the kids to the dentist, though BF has always paid for it. He's never pushed back on which ones they go to, so if he does now I don't know how she'll react. She might be okay with it, or she might get huffy. She can't really do much about it though because, as things stand, he'll be paying.
There's plenty of orthodontists in the area where they live. I wish they could go to the one I had. He was great, but he's about 45min away from them. Neither BF nor BM ever had braces so they are not personally familiar with any of the orthos in the area.
I am just amazed at that
I am just amazed at that quote being accurate. My DS has braces right now and the cost before insurance was 4600.00 total. He has upper and lower braces and this includes the cost of the retainer. The only thing not included was the molds, which cost 160.00. We are in AZ, and I do not know of any ortho that charges as much as you are being quoted.
Have fun in New Orleans. That is where I am from, always a good time when we go visit the family back there. There is so much to do and see there. Let me know if you need some suggestions.
Hi Helena, Just wanted to say
Hi Helena,
Just wanted to say 2 quick comments about your post:
1. The price that was quoted for the braces is ASTRONOMICALLY HIGH!!! I happen to live in one of THE MOST EXPENSIVE PLACES in the country - and we've had to pay for not one, but TWO sets of braces recently. The most recent quote we were provided (that my FDH agreed to even though I told him he was NUTS and should've taken the time to actually shop around) for FSS13, braces was about $4,500 TOTAL for everything - and that included an additional appliance that was not the "normal" part of orthodontic treatment. Your DH is absolutely NUTS if he agrees to "just go ahead and pay" the ridiculous amount you were quoted.
2. I call BULLSHYTE on the "BM has no money" part of this scenario. This is HER CHILD ALSO!! Why the attitude of "DH is just going to HAVE to pay for it all"???? What does the Court Order state, in writing, about who is responsible for what?? Why isn't there any dental insurance being provided? If there's no dental insurance, then why does BM get "off the hook" here with the expense? Also, not to be mean, but BRACES ARE NOT REQUIRED OR CONSIDERED A "LIFE OR DEATH" MEDICAL/DENTAL EXPENSE THAT ANY COURT OF LAW CAN "FORCE" YOUR DH TO PAY!! He can easily just say NO to the braces until they have time to shop around and do more research on all of this!!!
I needed braces when I was younger, but my parents (I'm from an "intact" family - no divorce) could NOT AFFORD them, so guess what??? I didn't get them!!! Did it KILL me?? NO!! When I got older and had my OWN FULL-TIME JOB to pay for them, I had them put on (in my early to mid 20's)!! Guess what? I'm still alive to tell about it!! LOL! And NO, I DO NOT FEEL THAT MY PARENTS WERE WRONG OR MEAN OR EVIL that they couldn't afford to have braces on me!! Whether there's 8 kids to support (my family) or just 2 kids...IT'S EXPENSIVE and not everyone has the financial means to afford orthodontia!!! WTF!!!!
Sorry about my rant (no intention to be mean or insulting)...it just really burns me up that PEOPLE JUST LET THESE BM'S "OFF THE HOOK" when it comes to FINANCIALLY SUPPORTING the children that THEY ALSO MADE!!!!
Sorry, Helena, just one more
Sorry, Helena, just one more piece of advice to you:
YOUR DH SHOULD NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WHATSOEVER, make an agreement to pay for the braces in full and have her reimburse him for her half of the cost!!! With everything you know about your BM (supposedly "no money"), you KNOW that she cannot afford to pay him back and WON'T EVEN TRY to pay him back because she'll have NO CONSEQUENCE if she doesn't pay - won't hurt HER CREDIT if she's not held accountable DIRECTLY TO THE ORTHODONTIST!!
Bottom line: If BM can't "afford" to pay her 1/2 of HER FINANCIAL OBLIGATIONS to HER child, then NO BRACES for skid!! It's that simple. Otherwise, your DH is setting himself up to be SCREWED!! Guilty Daddies' WORST trait - they feel soooo baaad if their kid can't get something. No one likes a martyr.