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OT-If you give 100% in your relationship...

herewegoagain's picture

Submitted by herewegoagain on Wed, 02/16/2011 - 10:27am

from day one, you will never have to say "I'm trying" or "I've been trying to make it up to you"...your spouse will believe that you are giving 100% and never demand more...

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skylarksms's picture

Submitted by skylarksms on Wed, 02/16/2011 - 10:51am

I have noticed the exact opposite. I came into my relationship giving more, yes. Not 100% of the effort but more than 75%.

As issues arose that made me unhappy, I would up my efforts to where I was making at least 99% of the effort in the relationship.

This should have improved it, right?? Since I was giving MORE effort? NO - it just allowed H to make even LESS of an effort on his part.

Now that I am giving my relationship 10% effort since I have pretty much given up, it has forced H to up HIS efforts....maybe to about 35%.

However, 45% effort is not going to make our marriage work. Neither is 100% effort from me and 0% effort from him.

herewegoagain's picture

Submitted by herewegoagain on Wed, 02/16/2011 - 7:57pm

Wow, I can't believe people here lost it with that one...I didn't say if you give 100% you get it back...heck no! Most here have given 100% while our DH's gave 10%...and little by little we said "idiot is taking advantage of me I'm not giving anymore"...and of course we had every right...but your DHs can't then say "try harder" cause once they do realize you gave 100% while they sat on their behinds allowing everyone to step on you, they can't and won't say "you nn to try harder"...on the other hand many DHs give us 30% effort to our relationship while giving their ex's and kids 70%+ of their souls...and then no matter how much they try to change once they realize they took advantage of us complain because we don't see how much they are "trying...or aré changing". Well, if they were 100% comitted to your relationship from day one, you would never feel they weren't trying hard enough because you'd trust them...

PS thanks for the insults...it was a thought and I truly appreciate the insults...maybe you should think about what is written a bit before reacting...it might help you out...sigh