For 12 years our life has been full of ups and downs, just as many other blended families out there. In the last year, it really became unbearable in that my husband got much worse as our financial situation got worse and all the other issues related to his ex, kid, us, etc...

About 3 months ago I was at the end of my rope. I finally calmed down enough to realize that no matter what I did, no matter how hard I tried, things were probably not going to change because my DH was not listening. No, it's not that I control him. It is however, that we should be able to discuss things and listen to each other and come to agreements. He always claimed he was listening, but within a week things were back to normal.

Finally, I did a bit of research online and thought, "if we don't get therapy, this is going to end...and most of all, OUR son is the one affected at this point...I won't allow it." At the same time, because we have no family where we live, and NO MONEY, we could not afford therapy. So I decided to talk to my DH and said...

"DH, I know things are not good for you or for me. We have tried so many times and it works for a bit and then we go back to what is normal. It is not fair to you or me to continue living this way. If we don't go to therapy, I am afraid that things will continue to spiral out of control and things will get worse. But I also know we don't have any money. Do you love me? (he said), "yes I do, but I can't go on living this way..." So I suggested the following: Since we cannot afford therapy, and I do love you too, let's give something a try that neither of us might think will work, but that at least it is cheap and we will both feel that we truly tried everything we could to heal our relationship. From now on every Saturday let's sit down to talk about US. It will no longer be in the middle of the week, when you come home tired from work and just want some peace or when I am worn out from chasing a kiddo and doing all the other things I do while you are gone. It will be on Saturdays, whenever we wake up...as we have coffee. Each week find ANY article related to relationships that we can read together. I will find one as well. It doesn't matter if it is related to sex, relationships, ex's, money, etc...It just needs to be something that you think can help us. Each of us will read the article out loud and discuss. We might hear things we don't like, that we are doing wrong, we might find out that some things we found in an article are more related to us...it doesn't matter. What matters is that we start talking about issues and how to improve our relationship." He agreed.

Hey! Believe me that I NEVER expected him to agree. EVER. I had tried years ago to talk to him, etc. and it was always met with resistance. So, this was a shock to me. However, I guess he too realized that after so many years of nothing working for very long, that it was worth a last try.

RESULT? I have to say that it has been a blessing. Sometimes as I read an article I realize there are things "I" am doing wrong and sometimes it validates what I have been telling him, but at the end, it does not matter. Same thing with him. I have to say that after a few months, he is as excited about our Saturday morning "therapy" session as I am. In fact, last weekend he suggested that we always end the session with "a joke". So starting today, each one of us has an article to read and a joke to tell each other (we find on the net), to help us keep a positive attitude.

I can't say this will work for everyone. But I think that at some point, we have to think out of the box and try something new. Heck, I think this is something we can even do with our own teens or kids if we are having issues. It is not meant to attack each other, but instead to show the other an "outsider's point of view". And it works.

I hope that some of you can take this and apply it to your own lives. Give it a try. You never know if something works until you try it. And again, believe me that MY DH, who used to say "we don't need to talk, there you go again with your stupid relationship tests, blah, blah, blah" is as thrilled as I am.