Sounds like a dream, right?

It was my reality this year. After almost 12 years of marriage to dh I've finally got to without these people. I cant believe dh really went thru with it.

We did not hear from the inlaws at all. They didnt call, of course we received no presents, my children received no acknowledgment whatsoever. Typically they come to our home every year and I spend my day cleaning and cooking for them and they find as many ways as they can to subtley mistreat me and mine. So I was sorry to miss out on that fun time!

And no ss14. No gift for ss. I know some of you will disapprove of that one as apparently it is a godgiven right for kids to receive gifts from their parents each year no matter the nature of the relationship or their behavior, but I for one was proud of dh. This is massive, folks. SS did call on xmas morning. It was a very brief phone call in which he wished dh a merry xmas and asked him what he was doing. Dh told him he was cleaning up and wished him a merry xmas as well. And that was it.

Dh did have a few moments of guilt. Said he felt like he was hinting for a present pickup and that he wished the kid hadnt called at all since he doesnt call any other time. I tried to be noncommittal as possible, simply said, if he doesnt address the issues they will never change. He agreed just felt the brief xmas phone call wasnt the right time to go into it so he chose just to brief and cordial which I am certainly ok with as well.

Strangely, we had another situation in which my brother's "adopted" daughter who is 24 was upset that MY parents didnt get her a gift-understant that this is a young lady who came and lived with my bro and sil when she was 18-moved in with them because they had assumed guardianship of another teenage girl, who was a friend of the family, a few years prior and this was her friend and she did not wish to live with her mother any longer. On and off over the years this girl has moved in and out of my brother's home when she needed a place to stay. However, at this point she hasnt lived with him for a year and my parents nor my immediate family have not seen nor spoke to her for a year. She has occassionally attended our Sunday dinners when she had nothing else to do, she does not attend my kids events, does not visit my parents for any other occassion or really have much to do with them in anyway excepts holidays and occassional sunday dinners. So it was weird that she got upset and my brother got upset that my parents didnt get her a gift. My dh, in explaining, this to our children, used ss14 as an example. That, yes, he felt somewhat bad about not getting him a gift, but that he chooses not to communicate or see him any other time of the year so it's really inappropriate to expect a gift.