I can't believe the stuff that is happening-maybe I'm crazy????
Things have not been good here in my household for several months. Dh and I have split twice and gotten back together. Ss moved in two months ago and I has been traumatic fir everyone. However for the last month or so things have been " ok ". Ss has been ok- although mouthy lately. And dh has been really really distracted. I finally found out why yesterday. When we split about a month ago he moved out and stayed a week or so with my inlaws and sisinlaw both. He took a bunch of money out of the bank in cash. During that week someone stole almost 5000.00 from him or should I say us. It obviously had to be one of his family members. However he has been able to prove nothing and has been going crazy for the last month thinking about it. In addition to that some other strange things have been happening- in terms of things being moved in his garage and shed. He also is missing some rare coins he collected- they are missing from our house- he noticed some missing the first time do he put them in a different location and now they are missing as well. He had some stuff in storage over at his dads and his bro has went thru all of that- he admitted and told dh he was trying to help him organize. Crazy stuff us happening like boxes in our garage will suddenly be moved in a neat little u shape. He found a piece a paper over at his sisters in which our name was written several times and it looked like our writing ( as if she was trying to practice our signature). In addition to all this our computer has been hacked- and someone will randomly turn off our computers and phones- download software to our computers etc. At first when dh told m that I thought he was nuts but it is happening to my computers too. I don't think the money and things around the house are related as it takes someone fairly intelligent to hack into a computer and my sil and bil aren't that bright- but I can see how all this shit going down is making my dh a bit " distracted". Now on to a ss14 concern dh has caught ss messing around with stuff in the garage. ss was also helping hm in the shed yesterday and now the lock is missing. We went out last night and something had been moved in the shed do he knows ss was in there. Then he moved our trash can and found a lighter, a knife, and a mountain dew can that had been bent and a hole poked in it as if someone were trying to smoke something on it. It was strange that all these items were together behind our trash can. Ss was outside and started freaking out when dh found this stuff. Seriously. He wouldn't stop screaming, he could barely breathe- saying dh was trying to " set him up". He seemed to know exactly what those items could be used for. So that's my story frankly my head is spinning from so much going on- I don't know what to think about any of it.
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I smell something fishy out
I smell something fishy out there. Why they always move their things and access their computers? That's illegal, stepping on one's privacy.
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Lorenzo D.
injury attorney
It seems pretty obvious who
It seems pretty obvious who the likely culprit is for all this - the most obvious suspect is usually the guilty one.
Yes he's tried to talk with
Yes he's tried to talk with them and they get upset with him and ask him how he could even think such a thing? Neither of them work, bil's gf doesn't work, none of them are morally upstanding people. But they say they wouldn't do that sort of thing to " family". They are resentful of dh because they are both broke losers and he is not. We don't always lock our doors ( we live in a gated community in which people just don't bother)- although we did in he past month install keyless entry on our front door while sil was present and she knows the code! So they have access to our home. I thought maybe dh was losing it these past couple months and now I finally get what is going on
I think you need to start
I think you need to start locking up everything pronto. SERIOUSLY.
Firstly I would be locking all the doors/windows every single time I left the house, regardless if you live in a gated community. Supervise your kids/skids regarding this to ensure they are also doing this!
Change all your locks, passwords on gates/doors/computers/accounts.
Install an alarm. You can get cheap ones and see if either DH or a friend can install it (DO NOT ASK DH'S RELATIVES).
Install a cheap safe and place any expensive items in this...the coin collection, jewellry, insurance documents, wills...you get the picture.
Inform the police and bank regarding the theft. Ensure your bank is monitoring things. Even if they cant DO anything. I would still inform them and then tell the family that the police are looking into things. Panic them if necessary.
Search ss room. Your DH has a legitimate reason to make sure his son isnt doing drugs and while he is at it he can make sure ss hasnt purloined anything.
I would also make sure you do not tell anyone regarding the increase in your security, so IF it is DH's family/son then hopefully they will trip one of your security protocols/alarms and they are caught. Do not give them heads up on this as you want to catch them in the act.
I would add contact all 3
I would add contact all 3 credit reporting companies - tell them you suspect Identity Theft. They will lock down your credit - so that no new credit cards/cars/loans etc can be opened - without you giving them an override.
And I'm sorry - but with this being on your husband's family - you might want to move a stash of cash to an account with only your name on it. (create a new one - just to make sure NO one else knows about it.)
We've got all laptops. Is
We've got all laptops. Is there anything that can be installed on those?
Dh's gotten new lock for
Dh's gotten new lock for shed. Someone is here right now to help us get our computers protected again. We have keyless locks to our basement ( where our room is and ds's room is) and on dd's door. However having 3 other kids in the house means people forget to shut their doors. He, for example, knows he is not supposed to be in the basement at all, yet comes down there daily anyway. He was down there last night when noone was home ( we did not lock it as we did not think he was coming home- thought he wa staying the night). I just told dh 5 minutes ago we need to get him drug tested so we know. I don't think it is ss messing with our computers- he has no access or knowledge of how to do so. Dh just told me one of the things that was rifled thru were some of our bank records. No checks and such- just statements, but of course they have account numbers on them. Shit. I think there are multiple things going on here-by multiple people- but I could see how dh might be feeling miserable since he's related to all of them.
You know, I'd even think
You know, I'd even think about having an officer come by your house and do a walk-through; he's trained to spot things that many of us wouldn't think of and help you devise a plan to put your home on lockdown. If Dh's family or SS complains, tough. You've worked hard for your things; protect them.
Whoa! You guys need to get
Whoa! You guys need to get some survellance cameras!! Put them inside and outside. You also need to talk to your bank and let them know that there has been some suspicious activity. You need to check your credit. You should really call the police too. Someone was in your house!!
I totally agree with you on
I totally agree with you on the point about "poof" stuff is missing... it all just doesn't smell right.
Get your money into an account with just your name. call the credit reporting agencies and the cops. Crazy stuff going on there!
So my sil comes over today
So my sil comes over today and said bil's gf left her bag over there and sil went thru it and found some of her makeup. And then she found a couple of other items si she asked dh if I was missing a bath and body lotion and neutrogena tanning stuff. Uh, yes. Yes I am. The lotion disappeared like a month agony thought maybe one of my dd's snatched it. The tanner I didn't notice but I knew I had two bottles of it and now I only have one. Sadly, I remembered the tanning lotion was in my jewelry cabinet. I went thru it and my freaking wedding rings from first marriage are gone. I was saving these for my kiddos. Obviously something that can never be replaced. Worth not a whole lot- but priceless. I just can't believe it and still don't know what to believe. I thought maybe sil was in on it but she seemed so genuine when she was upset about some of her stuff missing. But i have thought maybe she is just trying to throw suspicion on bil and gf. We still don't know what to do- my vote was to call the police but he thinks shell just lie and that will give her warning to get rid of all the stuff. He wants to think bil is clueless but I just don't see how that's possible.
I agree with what Stepaside
I agree with what Stepaside said above about the possibility of your DH stockpiling assets for leaving.
My feeling here is that is what is going on, along with an all out assault to try and make you crazy, or at least to look like you are.
I would be calling the police to get them to come out and investigate- with your DH there to answer questions for the officer. If your DH is responsible for the missing items- he will show his hand. If not, he has nothing to hide.
I would also get a list together of everything missing for the officer, including the cash that went missing.
Really, I have a bad feeling about all this, I think you are being set up by your DH so that he can take off again, and this time leaving with alot of craziness.
Keep us informed and I hope I am wrong.
Sounds like SS is smoking pot
Sounds like SS is smoking pot (perhaps other substances). I've seen many people make pipes out of coke cans.
Sounds like SS is smoking pot
Sounds like SS is smoking pot (perhaps other substances). I've seen many people make pipes out of coke cans.
It's not dh- it's most of his
It's not dh- it's most of his stuff that not only has been stolen but vandalized. He went and bought a new laptop last Wednesday because ours were so messed up- he thought he could fix those with the new one somehow. Bil's gf gave him a ride to walmart- he hadn't evenhad a chance to tell me about it yet so literally noone knew He had it except bil and bil's gf. He hid in the garage, put it in a protective sleeve and put it inside an old suitcase out there. The very next day the screen had been busted. Someone is not on stealing from us but deliberately tearing our stuff up out of spite. This is why my dh has been acting nuts- because it has made him crazy that his family is doing this to him. He is genuinely devastated- you just can't fake that. He kept alot of this from me initially as he did not really know which family member was doing it ( he even considered it might be me at one point) but he knows I'm not a fan of any of his family and he did not want me to hold a grudge against everyone if only one of them was doing it- such as bil's gf. That's who he has suspected all along- she's only been in the pic about two months which coincidentally when all this stuff started happening. He has tried to convince himself the siblings were not involved but I think he is convinced that bil is as well. When he tries to confront them or ask him about stuff they call him " crazy" which they know is a personal slap because of his brain injury and PTSD.
Just be careful HMO, your DH
Just be careful HMO, your DH had broken the trust before by cleaning his stuff out of the shed and then taking money out of your account, this seems to not pass the smell test with him, in my opinion.
Why it doesn't pass for me is that 1. he didn't tell you about the $5000.00 when he came back-why not? 2. he still trusts bil and sil to give him rides and come into your home-why, what's the point if he knows they are damaging/stealing from ya'll? 3. the person he should have spoken to right away is YOU when he knew things were amiss in ya'lls home- why didn't he?
and big #4. Have your DH call the police, period. That is what any good man would want to do to protect their home and family, that is if he had nothing to do with it. Why has he not?
Why didn't he call the police from the beginning of the missing and damaged things that he noticed? Anone who had someone essentially breaking and entering into their home should call the police- whether you suspect family or not. I mean, what if it is not his family or SS and you realy have someone else, a total stranger coming into your home - that is something I would get down to the bottom of - legally through the police.
And here is something else to think about-he had continued to LET all the crazy things go on rather than get you upset at his family for what he suspected them for doing? Something is way wrong with that.
Call the police, please, you will likely either found out the who-done-it or at least the person, persons will be afraid to continue. Plus, generally what is going on against you in your house is against many, many laws and you are letting your family be a victim.
I hope you it works out, it needs a nudge from your local PD.
I wouldn't let it go without
I wouldn't let it go without forcing DH to call the police.
I also would not let him play the victim, hell all the family is being victimized at the hands of DH not taking a stand, so I call BS on him being upset about HIS family being the ones perpetrating the crimes.
I would also be afraid that WHOEVER is doing all this might do something drastic, like poison the food in the fridge or something scary like that. I mean if they are crazy enough to come into the home and steal and damage property, then the possibility is there for someone to get hurt.
I highly suggest getting the police involved.
And if DH is honest, and it is not him, then there is no reason in the world for him not to protect their home.
I agree that if his PTSD and
I agree that if his PTSD and brain injury are that incapacitating that he cannot behave logically, then HMO NEEDS to take over virtually everything as protection for their family.
And to your comment: "Like hell if any of his family would step foot on my property again. And I'd be doing patdowns on SS on his way in and on his way out."
This is exactly what we did- to protect ourselves.
HMO- honestly I think you
HMO- honestly I think you need to be proactive and protect yourself.
If this is your IL's doing all these things, then have DH get the police involved.
If your DH is colluding with his family- you are likely being the target of them trying to make you crazy, so he has an excuse to leave, again.
Please approach this logically and for YOUR benefit.
Ok, HMO, I have been thinking
Ok, HMO, I have been thinking about your situation all day and I know what I would do given your circumstance(it didn't help that I had to finish up a research paper- but got it done!).
Here is how I see it.
1) Someone is burglarizing your home: Solution- get the police involved.
2) DH is still letting IL's come into your home: Solution- take over and tell him until this situation is cleared up, NO ONE is allowed access
3)May be collusion between IL's and DH- you have to find out what he has told them in reference to the situation: Solution- Make a time to confront all IL's with DH by your side and ask what DH has told them about what is going on and ask if they have participated in the illegal activities in your home, tell them that the police are now involved- judge their responses proactively, including DH's- someone will slip up.
My feeling is that your DH is telling IL's that you are doing these things and now has partners in crime to make it easier for him to walk again.
Do not let it be that simple to fool you.
I know how people can conspire against you on the word of someone they love. My exh conspired against me with his friends and family for a month without my knowledge for him to leave me. Only, he and they planned to take my kids, and all our belongings and run out of state, without any notice or awareness of what was going down on my part.
Do not be the fool I was...
keep in mind that after all he has done, you cannot trust him completely to be truthful with you. Mine also took the money and ran 3 times and came back before the last incident.