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Really dont like my mil much...

hismineandours's picture

Submitted by hismineandours on Wed, 02/29/2012 - 11:29am

So making progress letting go of past resentments with ss and dh-but mil is another story. As I find out more info-the pissier I get.

Evidently ss13 was failing several of his classes. MIL nor FIL saw any need to help him, discipine him, or even really notice that he was failing. They just didnt care. The kid has been tested and has an average IQ-no reason he should be failing a basic math class. Hell, theres no reason he should be taking BASIC math. My ds12 who is a grade beneath him is taking a higher level class than ss. SS doesnt do his work consistently and no one evidently has bothered to care if he does fail. So there's one of my issues.

Issue number 2 is I find out that she has taken him off one of his medications. One he has been on for 5 years. One that several different psychiatrists felt he needed. Um, wow. I guess she is smarter than everyone else and determined that it wasnt for him. He was prescribed to assist with his anger. Strangely, she got upset and kicked him out because he was ANGRY.

Issue number 3-not only did she stop that one but she has been yanking him on and off his adhd med. First she doesnt think he needs it at all, then decides he needs it for school, but not on the weekends, and then right before he came back to us I guess she decided he needed it everyday after all, but just left it up to him to remember to take it on his own.

Issue number 4-noone was monitoring him at home. He would get up and stay up at night on facebook after mil went to her night shift job. A few days before we got him he was posting on facebook at 3:30am saying he had been up all night drinking energy drinks and was getting ready to go to school.

I admit, I feel sort of bad for my ss. This is the poor quality craptastic parenting he has been experiencing for years. No wonder he's messed up.

Comments

Willow2010's picture

Submitted by Willow2010 on Wed, 02/29/2012 - 11:57am

I admit, I feel sort of bad for my ss. This is the poor quality craptastic parenting he has been experiencing for years. No wonder he's messed up.
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I was about to say the same thing. I hope your DH gets on board with fixing all of this crap that he and them have created. I don't have high hopes I guess. What does DH say about all of this.

PS...I felt sorry for my SS several times also because of the bad parenting.

hismineandours's picture

Submitted by hismineandours on Wed, 02/29/2012 - 12:34pm

Dh and I spent a long time talking last night about ss, his grades, behavior, etc. Right now I am optimistic-why not be? It's preferable to being pessimistic Wink Dh has made some good decisions thus far and I'm glad to see that. MIl had bought ss a phone-dh confiscated it this weekend actually when ss came to visit. He will not be able to have it back until the grades are all a's and b's. Which will likely be a long time.

I think it is hard for dh to admit negatives about his family. My family is positive so I cant relate. But there have been times in the past I've tried to push on him that his family sux-he will argue with me-then eventually admit it-but I dont see the point in doing this any longer. I know he knows deep down that they are lacking-I dont really need him to admit it any longer.

DaizyDuke's picture

Submitted by DaizyDuke on Wed, 02/29/2012 - 12:40pm

Yep, this is what is going on with my SS13 (to an extent) BM leaves him at home by himself frequently to cavort around with her 20 year old boy toy or to (gasp) go to work her part time job. If he's not home alone, then he is off at some random friends house or with his 20 year brother who has been to drug rehab, just got a DWI etc.

SS has been failing school all year, and this started at least in the 5th grade. When we used to have him more on week-nights, he would always have homework, which DH would tell him to do, but he would sit in front of the TV and "do" it. Really? I had already given up on trying to point the obvious out to DH by then, whatever, let the kid fail. So in 5th grade his poor grades were all his teachers fault, because she was "old and mean" (in the words of SS). Then in 6th grade it was all because he was "just being social" (in the words of BM), now this year BM says it's because she thinks he has ADD... really? hmmmm funny that he has no problem concentrating on his FB posts, his girlfriends, his shoplifting, his smoking pot, his talking on the phone so much that he cost us $400.00 last month in overage fees etc. Then DH has the nerve to say "Well, I feel bad for him, he's probably bored sitting in that apartment by himself with no cable, so he talks on the phone?" I did flip out on this comment... really DH??? How about he fucking STUDY??? how about BM get him a fucking tutor??? How about he read a book???

But whatever this kid always has been and (I think) always will be enabled to the hilt. If it wasn't for the fact that SS phone is on MY cell phone bill in MY name that I have complete control over, he'd still be running up the bill because there are ZERO consequences from DH and BM.

I'll be secretly laughing and holding back my I told you so's when this train crashes and burns because I am POSITIVE it will. But apparently nobody else can see past those "rose colored glasses" (shrug)