A stranger in my own home...
I feel like a stranger in my own home. I know all that is spoken about when I'm not in the room, then I get to smile in my SS14's face and act like nothing is bothering me. I have no solutions to the problems that have. My SS14 does not like rules, as many 14 year olds don't, there are now rules since school is back and I enforce these rules in the nicest way possible...I've even written them on a schedule where he only has to check the schedule on the calandar and he still does NOTHING. I said that if he wants to have fun then he has to work for it "give a little, take alittle"...nope he does nothing. My fiance tries to speak to him but then he says that his father always takes my side and that no one cares about him. He thinks we're too strict, bla, bla, bla...I've come to the conclusion that I have to back off and just not give my opinion or enforce anything...it's been about 2 hours and SS14 just asked me why I'm ignoring him!? I can't win!
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That's what would happen
That's what would happen here too! I am too involved in SS6 to disengage. I am the mom, sometimes it's a real struggle!
Try disengaging when dad is home, do something fun for u!
Yes, this is what I have
Yes, this is what I have ended up doing. I've actually been doing my school work and I'm also thinking about getting myself a pet.
Just alittle while ago, I suggested that he go and take a shower and get ready for bed and he told me know that its up to his dad. I asked so if I'm suggesting it you're not going to take my advice, and he shrugged his shoulders and told me nope. So I said, "ok, I understand. When I suggest for you to do something you're not going to listen to it because I say it" then he shrugged his shoulders again. So I said "Ok (shrug)when you come and ask me why I'm not speaking, it's because you don't care what I have to say, and so I won't say anything". He just walked away.
One thing that really concerns me is that he is never apologetic or sympathetic about anything. It worries me that he never feels bad even when I'm being nice as pie or when I tell him that he hurts my feelings. Nothing, he just doesn't care.
Stand up strait, take a deep breath, exhale and smile
Does your DH know that he
Does your DH know that he responded this way towards you after telling him to take a shower? I wouldn't have told SS anything, I would let your DH handle it. If SS doesn't get in the shower, or follow any rules for that matter, it is now your DH's problem, not yours. I guess it's a little easier for me to disengage, because I was never fully engaged to begin with. They have two parents, and I'm not one of them. The only problem this causes is when it effects my kids, so at times when DH fails to parent his children where it concerns MY children, it becomes an issue.
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“Sometimes it's the smallest decisions that can change your life forever.”
No I did not say anything to
No I did not say anything to DH because DH has been feeling very overwhelmed and has been really snappy with SS14 and I think its because of me.
Stand up strait, take a deep breath, exhale and smile