X-mas went pretty well. It was our weekend but since SD12 has younger siblings with her mom, she stayed home until x-mas day then we just had her for one night and then FH's mom took her for a sleepover the next night after the usual 26th at FH's brother's house. I was much happier with the kids' reactions to their gifts this year at the family get-together. Last year SD11 at the time and her male cousin who was 10 were so rude when opening the gifts. They were very obviously unimpressed with what everyone got them and were not afraid to show it. They said thank you but almost sarcastically. I was very happy that this year I couldn't tell if there was something they didn't like since they seemed to show appropriate reactions to everything and seemed genuinely appreciative of their gifts. So that was fine. I think they all heard it from their parents after last year's spectacle.

Anyways, this weekend we were supposed to have SD but we were a little worried since we have both been flat on our backs sick since a few days after X-mas. SD called Friday and said she and her whole family are very sick too so she thought it would be better for her to stay home and not get anyone worse. We were relieved since we really didn't want her to catch what we have and since we are just finally starting to feel a little better, we didn't want to start to get worse either just when we have to go back to work tomorrow. So we told SD to play it by ear and if she started to feel better and wanted even a short visit to call and we'd figure something out.

Well, the next morning she called all chipper but still hoarse and was like "so when are you coming to pick me up". Both FH and I felt like crap still so he was like "oh, it's good you're feeling a little better but you don't sound like you're 100% and we're still really bad over here, so maybe it's not the best idea for you to come this weekend." She said she would ask her mom if she could stay home and get back to us. 5 seconds later her mom calls, screaming at us that we are trying to blow off SD and shirk our responsibilities. FH explained that SD told us she was too sick to come over the day before and then the next day we were still too sick and we didn't want to cross germ strains.

Then BM says that SD lied and that she's only a little sick and the rest of them just have mild colds and the real reason she didn't want to come over was because they had just set up an email address for her so she wanted to stay home and play with her new tablet and chat to her friends on her new account. (We were against the whole giving her a tablet idea by the way since she already has 2 laptops she can use at home and we think it's unnecessary, but her mom and stepdad love to spend money they don't have on fancy gadgets. I think they should focus on a clean home that isn't in the worst part of town and doesn't smell like pee but whatever)

FH was angry and hurt that SD lied to him about why she didn't want to come over. She has done this many times and always makes an excuse (because she doesn't want to hurt his feelings) but he tells her every time that he can take it, and he'd rather she be honest with him than lie. It seems she lies more and more these days. But he said that what he told her still stands. We are just too sick to have her and we'll just end up making her illness worse because I especially haven't been this sick since I was a kid, so it's obviously a really bad strain. BM was also mad at SD because SD does this every time her mom and stepdad have plans that don't include her. They had tickets to a hockey game, but thought they were going to have to cancel because SD had to stay home and apparently the stepdad's parents will only babysit their other two kids but not all 3 at the same time. She seems to do this to them every time they are going out. She will make up some excuse to not go where she is supposed to go so they will have to cancel and stay home with her. Her stepdad was screaming in the background as well. Lovely healthy home environment. And we wonder why SD is so messed up.

FH said he didn't want them to have to cancel their plans, so if they really wanted we could take her, but they said they would figure something else out. That something else turned out to be FH's mom. They pawned SD off on her, and of course she called as well freaking out at us for not taking SD. She also said that SD was upset because her mom and stepdad started saying all kinds of nasty things about us after the phone conversation, so she was glad to get away from them. FH was hurt that they would say anything about him since he does nothing but try to help them out whenever he can. He's a great dad and they always call him when they are having problems with SD and he runs right over and straightens everything out. We never say anything bad about them (around SD) and when there is something big that BM does that we disagree with, we approach SD with something like "We respect the choices that your mother makes because we know she is doing what she thinks is best for you, but we want you to understand that there are other ways of doing things and in your own life you should think very hard about what decisions are right for you and not just follow what your mom does..." instead of something like "your mom's an unbelievable moron, don't ever be like that". He was also mad that SD lied to him so he said he didn't want to talk to her.

FH was also hurt that apparently BM and her husband frequently say bad things about him and SD never defends him. She is basically doing the role of best man in our wedding and FH is worried about having someone stand up with him who doesn't have his back. He does so much and it seems that all they do is complain because they are not happy with their own lives. We live in a better part of town than them, I am educated and have a good career, and we surround ourselves with good, responsible people. They live in a bad part of town, are brutally uneducated, have to work 2-3 jobs to try to pay for their lifestyle which is above their budget, and their friends all look pretty rough, though I'm sure they are nice people. We don't have that much more money than them, but we are smarter with it. We have certain things that we consider important to our lifestyle, like safe, reliable cars, a decent house, and a boat, but we can afford it. They seem to look at us and think that we consider ourselves a higher class of person than them and bitterly comment about us living in our nice neighbourhood, and on our boat, with our nice cars, etc. They could literally be in the same position as us if they made better decisions in their life, but they feel inferior, so they take it out on us and go on and on about how much better we think we are than them. I told FH that their bitterness stems from jealously and pettiness and not to let it get to him, but his feelings are hurt! That makes me angry. He is always putting everyone before himself, them included at times, and they can't even keep their nastiness away from his daughter?

And one last thing: Since we didn't take SD but FH's mom has her, the two of them made every excuse to call FH every 5 minutes yesterday to "solve some problem" with their electronics, etc. and then they invited him over for breakfast today so that SD can see him. And he totally fell for it!! Wasn't the point of us not taking her because he didn't want to get her sick and because he was mad at her for lying and manipulating him again. Just because they offer free food he takes off and completely ignores all that? I mean, he legitimately is sick so he's putting his own mom in danger as well, and now SD thinks she can act like that and he'll still come see her. It also ticks me off a little that they only invited him and not me. I am a little more sick than him, so I wouldn't have come anyways, but they could have at least asked. It all feels like a cheap ploy to get daddy's attention after he already made it clear that he wasn't going to see her, because we are all sick but also because of what she did. This way she ends up getting her way despite not deserving it...AGAIN. The only good that can come of this is that he'll likely drop her off at home after and get to confront her awful mom and stepdad about what they have been saying about him.