BM and DH communication
I had the pharmacist order more amoxicillin for SD so that she can restart the treatment for her ear infection. The urgent care doc said it's bacterial. I told SD that BM needed to consult a doctor before proceeding with treatment but SD said BM would not call a doctor and to not listen to me. So I took matters into my own hands and had DH tell BM that she needs to pick up the prescription from CVS after I made sure it was ordered.
DH told BM "ILD said the antibiotics will be ready to pick up from CVS tomorrow". BM responds with something like "I bet she had a few choice words also. SD's mouth is always getting her in trouble". Then she said she needs the insurance card so I made a copy for DH so that he doesn't need to use hers anymore. Why did DH throw my name out there and not just tell her that it would be available?
Was BM saying that my mouth is going to get me in trouble because she needs to consult a doctor about resuming antibiotics? We all messed up and I am trying to make things right for SD's health. Instead of a 'thank you' BM couldn't just keep HER mouth shut. Also, SD does have braces so BM *could have* been referring to SD's actual teeth and how that 'gets us in trouble' but I doubt it.
Last week when SD told me BM was a self-proclaimed 'workaholic' I laughed in her face and told SD that someone who works their normal job is definitely NOT a workaholic. Think SD relayed that back to BM?
- I love dogs's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
I think she was saying SD's
I think she was saying SD's mouth gets SD into trouble. My guess is BM didn't say what SD says she said.
You all need to STOP relaying information through SD, and you need to STOP taking digs at BM when SD says something. SD is an unreliable narrator, and all of you get in a tizzy based on what she says.
You're right but I reordered
You're right but I reordered the prescription since DH was still working and didn't know he'd tell BM that I did it so I'm not sure what his intention was there. Did he expect her to say 'thank you'? Because that obviously didn't happen.
My guess is he just spouted
My guess is he just spouted off the facts as they were, that you ordered it. I doubt he had an ulterior motive.
I agree. I wouldn't overthink
I agree. I wouldn't overthink this.
Why would she say that I had
Why would she say that I had 'choice words' then that SD's mouth gets her in trouble?
Because your DH should have
Because your DH should have handled it, not you.
Or SD told her what you said about get, so she assumes you said something else.
Really, you can't say crap about BM (to SD, no less) and not hear about it later, even passive aggressively.
Or BM could've handled it
Or BM could've handled it because it's her time. I wouldn't have said anything if BM didn't make SD feel bad about being sick and missing freaking summer camp. But again, you're right. Some things are better left unsaid.
But you didn't give mom a
But you didn't give mom a chance to handle it. You jumped into action based on the words of a child. A child that you claim is a liar and a manipulator.
Well either way, Disney, the
Well either way, Disney, the prescription is ready.
You have said repeatedly that
You have said repeatedly that SD lies and twists the truth. You have no idea if mom told the girl not to listen to you. You have no idea if the kid is telling the truth about mom not calling the doctor. All of you keep sending messages back and forth knowing darn well the kid has a history of messing them up.
Yes, I'm sure the girl told her mother what you said and that you laughed in her face. What kid wouldn't?
DH is going to schedule a
DH is going to schedule a follow up with SD's PCP for when the antibiotics are done so that SD does see a doctor soon.
All of the adults in both
All of the adults in both families sound like they are barely teenagers. Drama seeking behaviors and extreme lack of responsibility and maturity.
I shouldn't have said what I
I shouldn't have said what I did about BM but it is said now. I got approval from the pharmacist to get a refill because I think it was the right thing to do to resolve the situation.
After all the effort to get
After all the effort to get the medicine, how can you be sure that SD will take it all??
I also wonder at the wisdom of protecting a poor mother from her choices. If you allowed BM to parent as she sees fit, wouldn't it cause her to have eventually CPS involvement, thereby giving SD a mother who's being held accountable by the law? I know its hard to stand by and wait and watch someone crash and burn but sometimes it neccessary to change the playing field. IMO
DH knows that he has no
DH knows that he has no control over it until Monday afternoon when SD comes back so he has to leave it alone for now. BM got the insurance card back so that she can go to CVS for it, so we'll see. I did all of the footwork, she just has to run the errand.
I interpret this as SD's
I interpret this as SD's mouth is going to get her in trouble (i.e., BM is saying SD lied about/misinterpreted what BM said about not calling a doctor/not listening to you) and the choice words would be yours (because BM figures most stepmoms would have some choice words to say about a mother who refused to call a doctor and told the skid not to listen to stepmom).
This seems to me like a little incident that, if it's the *only* incident of its kind, is not a big deal and is being blown out of proportion. If it's just one of many such incidents, then it's probably time to change things. Don't let SD be the messenger. Have all communication go between BM and DH. If SD does deliver messages from BM, don't act on them without being sure she's telling the truth (which may require verifying with BM). If a kid is trying to stir up trouble, it may be because she's not getting enough attention from one parent or the other. Does your DH spend quality time with her, or is he usually at work and depending on you to be with her/take care of her? This might be her cry to DH to pay more attention. This also could be your opportunity to disengage a lot (if you want to). Just tell DH you cannot be in the middle of this, and he needs to take the reins.
Great advice, thank you. Yes,
Great advice, thank you. Yes, DH is used to me doing most of the parenting and was offended when I asked him if this would be the norm when our baby comes. I love him but he's "hands off" with SD but claims he'll be a SAHD for our baby when she comes and he can run his business at a distance while I go back to work. I have tried to disengage but feel like doing so disconnects me from the family but the new baby may make me change my mind if the lies and misinterpretations continue.
BM got the insurance card
Unless CVS runs differently in your area, you don't need actual possession of the insurance card to.pick up a prescription. In this area paper in hand prescriptions are rare. Doctor offices usually electronically send prescriptions. The only time you actually need the card is if your insurance is not in the system. Once it's in the system the insurance authorizes payment before you get to the pharmacy. They'd only ask for the insurance card if insurance denied payment.
Yes, you'll see what BM will do. You also could have seen what BM would do if she had known that SD was to bring meds to her home. She might have even made her child take them.
This story has plenty of blame to go around. No one - DH, you, SD, BM - is blameless in this situation. SD is a kid and kids do stupid things. Parents should correct and administer consequences. Correction is not "accidentally" throwing away meds and applicators. Correction is bringing the meds to BM and relating what the doctor said. When a child complains of pain in your home, you do not have your child call the other parent to complain that the pain is back, you either call the ex yourself to get info on what was done or take the child to urgent care. Plenty of blame, but the least culpable is the child. Children need to be supervised as they learn.
Yup. No insurance cards
Yup. No insurance cards needed to pick up meds from CVS