Don't do it...... let her stay with her mom. They are probably bumping heads cause she won't listen to her mothers rules. She is gonna run away from moms rules and will expect not to have any at your house. I have been there. I wanted to be supportive and be all "sure your kid can live with us". I should have said hell no. My guys kid came to live with us at 16 because he was "butting heads" with his mom who was simply trying to raise him right. Of course my guy blamed everything on the BM and thought he could do a better job. Wrong!! he has been out of control disrespectful since day one and it's been like that for 4 years and I'm left trying to figure out a way to get his ass outta my house. Please take my advice and tell him no now.

The only thing worse than a decade down the drain is a decade and a day down the drain.

Honestly, I would tell someone to pound sand if they told me my kid could not live in my house.

But there are things you can do now so that it will make both DH and SD think really hard before coming to live with you.

If DH ever talks about her coming to live with him, make sure he knows that HE will be the one to clean, cook, buy things for, take care of school and extra activities and discipline, his kid. Not you. Maybe not say it like that lol…but drop those little bombs here and there.

Make sure he/SD knows that no kids live in the house after 18 unless they are in school/college full time AND work at least part time.

And FYI … SD and BM will most likely be best friends in a few years so DH needs to tread lightly. If you ever hear SD complain about her BM, I would just say .. “Oh SD, we all go through that with our moms. It is normal for mother and daughter to butt heads when at your age, but it will get better.

Im so glad my ex was not around to run to when she was being a grouchy turd teenager. lol

Hon, I thought I'd wasted 10 years of my life with someone. Turns out, it helped me learn some things about myself that were a looooong time coming. It took me about a year to get my shizzit together and about 6 months after that, I reconnected with my DH.

Don't think of it as a waste. Think of it as a lesson and the opportunity to be the best YOU that you can be.

NO NO NO...

SD will not move in permanently, BM got her with lies and all, BM can keep her, she can visit only.

and think about it, if you think if you get our now and a decade is down the drain, how are you going to feel the day you say.. two decades down the drain?

Oh...lol. DH has expressed this wish for each of the kids but thank goodness it never happened. 2 of the 3 started dropping by more frequently than I would have liked when they started driving...but so grateful none of them ever asked to live with us. Still...with each, as they've gotten older DH has expressed some version of: "Well, maybe SS/SD will want to live with us." I've expressed both mild horror and practical objections each time...like, CS would have to STOP. No way in hell im paying to have your kid live with us full time and writing a check to BM each month.

Anyway. Glad we got past that phase w/o incident. Now DH's thing is that maybe the skids will "come work for us" and we can "give them the business one day." Too bad for him everything is in my name and I've put more $$$ into building the business than he has. Again...no way im working this hard to gift everything to his useless kids.