SD's comments- we're working on it
Overall, we had a good weekend. SD enjoys the "normal" at our house. However, there was one exchange that kind of bothered me but we got over it.
DH tells me he "orders sunsets" for me. Saturday had a beautiful sunset. We are leaving to go eat dinner and I ask DH if he ordered the gorgeous sunset for SD and me.
Before be can reply SD chimes in "my mom said he used to tell her the same thing". Of course she did, BM will probably never stop regretting ruining her relationship with DH.
Anyway, I was in a good mood so I tell her "nope, there's no way, your dad never said that before me". SD says "yeah, she said that". Again, I say "no, SD he'd only ever say that to me" (with big eyes like I'm angry). She realizes I'm joking and just starts laughing.
It did annoy me though that she thinks these comments are useful to me. I think she's used to pushing BM's boyfriend's buttons and she's just at that bratty, challenging everything preteen stage.
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SD8... Who doesn’t want to go
SD8... Who doesn’t want to go back to BM (wants to stay with her *insert my name here* and move with me, according to this morning as long as she has her TV and her me she’s okay. Lol. Guess we’re getting past the “you’re not my real mom” stage)... She says stuff like that too. And I admit, it annoys the heck out of me... Internal Evil me wants to yell at her and tell her o shut her mouth and that I don’t want to hear about BM and that she’s the devil... But polite “I’m parenting these children” me just says that it’s nice or nods my head so they know I heard. I don’t argue, makes the conversation past faster, but I also don’t want the kid to feel I sensoring her. BM does that and she’s literally worri d herself sick over not being able to talk about something with us that happened with BM.
So yes it sucks, and I’ve totally posted about that on here too. Cuz man does that s*** start building up and getting to you! Lmao. Just make sure DH steps in if it gets too insane... (also make sure there’s not some meddling MIL to hijack the convo... Cuz then it has to be done over anyways...)
I don't know how or why BM
I don't know how or why BM knew that DH tells me that but I figure it's as innocent as "babe" or a way to say "I'd give you the world". I think DH may not say it as much now. Thanks SD.
SD knows I don't have a temper like BM so maybe she's just being matter of fact. BM doesn't require SD to have a filter so I think it's normal for SD to spew whatever information she pleases. If it happens again I'll just say "that's nice SD".
I would simply tell SD, I
I would simply tell SD, I don't care if dad said that to your mother, now he says it to me they are divorced...
I would simply make a point of it to tell her, stop tattle, Your mother and father is divorced they will never be together again, I'm with your father now and there's nothing you or your mother can do about it... I use to let things like this fly and I regret it today... they are not joking when they say these things, the know exactly what they say.... and they do it out of spite
lol... "Why do you think I
lol...
"Why do you think I would care if your dad said that to your mom?"
"Your dad says that to people he loves. He doesn't say it to her anymore, now does he?"
"I don't care."
"so?"
I know, childish. I'd never say them out loud, but in my head it's fair game.
I really don't understand why
I really don't understand why SD stirs the pot about DH and BM's relationship. She doesn't even remember when they were together. I've been with DH for more than half of her life and SD knows that BM was the reason their relationship ended. Believe me, I would love to tell SD what I think of her mother trying to reminese about her "relationship" witb DH but I refrai .
Exactly! I met SD4 when she
Exactly! I met SD4 when she was 2 1/2. SO has a habit of opening the car door for me and a few months ago we were all inside the truck and SO was walking around to hop inside, and SD4 says, "my dad used to open the door for my mom too." Like, child, you don't remember that. Don't make sh*t up. I usually just follow up with the good ol' that's nice and change the conversation. Thankfully SO is good about shutting that junk down.
It's been the last year that
It's been the last year that SD has been making these comments. I think BM is still seriously hurt that DH never took her back and tells SD things. She also doesn't seem happy with her toddler and baby daddy so I don't doubt that's why SD makes these comments.
It's rude. At 12 a child,
It's rude. At 12 a child, especially a girl, should already understand relationships and hurtful words. Every time SD tried to belittle my presence in my DH's life, I gently gave her a chance to make it better by giving a reason other than overt disrespect for whatever she said. Nine times out of ten she'd blow any reasonable solution out of the water by painfully and unashamedly spelling out that she was being hurtful. I didn't mince words. I explained to her exactly how it made me feel and how extraordinarily impolite it is to try and drive a wedge between husband and wife. I refused to set myself up to harbor bitter resentment and have it spoil my affection for DH.
The last time she inquired
The last time she inquired about DH's relationship with BM and I was annoyed/ upset, DH said "she's just a kid". Yes, she's a kid but she's also mature enough to know that her parents aren't getting back together so what's the point in bringing it up?
If BM wasn't telling SD crap, SD would have no idea!