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The judge's take on Domestic Violence....

I.hate.cats's picture

A few weeks ago, BM's BF had finally had enough and walked away. In the aftermath of doing so, he contacted DH and gave him all of the juicy details of BM's insanity, the police involvement, her drug use, etc. Of course they're back together but the damage has been done.

We finally got copies of the incident reports and found out this has been ongoing since November! Domestic violence, disorderly conduct, her leaving her 9yo son and SD6 home alone. Her paranoid delusions of people following her, going through his phone....one report even details her leaving his loaded gun outside of her property along with his other possessions, not to mention all of the times where she's contradicted herself to the cops.

We were told by CPS that they couldn't do anything because the BF was now the EXBF but BM isn't very intelligent and she's even posted pics of him with SD6 after telling the investigator the relationship was over. She's made statements to the cops that claim her children have heard, if not witnessed the DV, but I'm wondering if the judge will consider that as big of a deal as we do. Three weeks and counting and I guess we'll find out but BM is definitely in for a surprise in court.

Comments

constantly_irritated's picture

Unbelievable. You never know what the courts will do, but I seriously hope they realize this is too much for young children.

CompletelyPuzzled's picture

I hope that the courts take all of this into account. But, I was really surprised by how much latitude the courts will give BM. I just went through the process of us getting full custody of the SDs. The courts are so unpredictable. It comes down to one judge's opinions. I hope you get a fair judge like we do. Good luck. Hopefully, this situation can be resolved and quickly your sd's sake.

Stepmom09's picture

DH was told in court he needed a witness that will testify to it other then the child. So good luck but don't get your hopes up

notsurehowtodeal's picture

Hopefully since they have actual police reports attesting to the incidents that will count as proof in their situation.

I.hate.cats's picture

That's what we're hoping. We have ten months worth of police reports detailing everything and in her statement she told the police that even if her kids didn't see it, they were within five feet and heard everything. What we're hoping for is that the judge will look at how many times she's changed her story when dealing with the police, in addition to the lies and false information that she's given to DH only to later contradict herself.

One of the big issues in addition to the DV is the weapons. They've documented three different guns found in the home or on the BF and in one of the incidents, she claims he took the gun from her closet without her knowledge, in the others it shows the weapons were accessible to the children because she left one in a box right outside her house.

She also sent DH several text messages talking about how the BF is dangerous and a threat to her safety and the safety of the children yet now he's back in the household. CPS let the case go because the BF was supposedly out of the picture but since this on again off again deal has been ongoing for ten months, we're hoping that a judge won't just take her word for it that she'll break up with him and that's that. When we put together our court paperwork to change placement, we had a fraction of what we have now, but we did include the stability of the household and in an email that DH sent BM, he voiced his concerns about the BF. She told him that it was none of his business. The DV and SD's homelife with BM were just a small part of the list of concerns we have and over the last three months, BM has proved every point that we made.

I think the craziest part is that despite the fact that the court is supposed to do what's in the child's best interest, they allow situations like this to continue and when something devastating happens, there's no repercussions! I really think that at least every two years, these judges should be forced to look at cases where they made the wrong call to the detriment of a child and learn from them.