I'm starting to feel better about dealing with having a stepfamily. Between reading Stepmonster and recognizing alot of dynamics that are common to stepfamilies that I'm dealing with, venting and reading on this site, and semi disengaging I'm starting to feel happier. I'm so grateful to have found this site. Stepfamily information just isn't easy to find like parenting and relationship information is. 

DH has also been acting a little better and been trying harder. I'm not sure exactly why, but I suspect that disengaging some was kind of a wake up call. It almost seemed like he wanted me to fight for his attention sometimes and when I decided to disengage instead it made him realize that might be the wrong approach. Possibly reading some of the info in stepmonster to him helped also, but not sure on that one. I've sent him lots of articles before and sometimes it would help briefly but then when SD would be gone and come back again it was back to business as usual. 

SD has been gone for a week and comes back this week so we shall see if the improvements continue and if the happier attitude for me sticks while she is here. I've decided that I need to spend more time focusing on myself and my marriage and alot less worrying about SD and the drama that comes along with her.