"I'm the one who decided to have her"
I didnt blog much for a month as I was enjoying my time away from SD. So now its blog hog time. Her being gone for so long and then coming back brought up a lot of emotions. I kind of let DH have it last night regarding the whole situation of SD, me feeling like the scapegoat, etc. I told him flat out all cares about is looking like the good guy, but passing his burden onto his wife so he can maintain 50/50 and avoid child support doesn't make him look like a good guy. I also told him straight up that yes his kid is a brat and it's not normal to do things like hit a baby in the face with a vacuum cord and just ignore him crying, or watch a toddler fall down the stairs and have no reaction, or laugh at things like a toddler running into a table or a kid being sad that a dog died.
Now onto the BM part. The one thing that makes me resent BM also is that she also doesn't want to shoulder the burden of the kid she decided to have. She actually tries to use it against DH that he owes her and should be grateful to her because she decided to have SD. Now when she says this, what she's referring to is that she didn't get an abortion after lying to DH about having her birth control in and then also sleeping with other guys and not being sure who the dad was. She debated on it and decided not to. And according to her, DH is supposed to be forever grateful for this gift. BUT, that doesnt work in reverse. She doesnt want to have to take any responsibility for the fact that it was her choice to have her, only wants the benefits. And has no qualms about passing SD off onto anyone. Keep in mind I'm not saying DH has no responsibility, but if you're gonna use that line on him, dont you think it could also work in reverse? And maybe she could step up a little more and not put so much burden on others to take care of her kid that "she alone" decided to have?
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Comments
Please protect the child who
Please protect the child who sd has done these things too.
Its' your obligation. Keeping the child away in a different room while sd is there is not enough...it may get worse.
I feel awful for your bio.
My formerSO's kid tried
My formerSO's kid tried hurting our baby all the time, among other things like waking him up literally every time he was sleeping, trying to interrupt nursing.
FormerSO did nothing to contain his feral beast. I left with our son. No way I was going to let my child grow up in that environment. No way was I going to exhaust myself trying to keep anything from happening.
OP, if your child is facing danger due to your husband's kid, you HAVE to do something.
50/50 isn't working if he
50/50 isn't working if he expects you to raise his kid. You are unhappy and have several years ahead of you.
He needs to refuse, and go to eowe. If he's worried about CS, maybe you two should quietly get divorced, award you CS, then BM will get much less.
I agree 50/50 isn't working.
I agree 50/50 isn't working. Part of the discussion was him trying to get me to say I only want her there every other weekend and make me out to be the bad guy for it. But realistically it makes more sense. BM works about half the hours DH does, SD is way more attached to her, and plus eowe makes it much easier to do what's said above and keep my kids protected from her.
Problem is, DH has this ego thing attached to the 50/50 also and lets BM get in his head that hes "not the real parent" with less than that. Which I think is silly, eowe doesn't mean the ncp is a bad or worse parent, its just the most realistic set up sometimes. And I don't know anyone who judges dads that dont have 50/50.