SD left with her aunt and cousins to go to their grandmas house. ODS was feeling kind of left out and said he wished he could go. SD responded that she didnt wish he could go. I asked her if she thought that was a nice thing to say and she said no. I don't think she even was trying to be mean, it's just that she didnt care if it was because she had no purpose in being nice to him at the time and it was the truth.

I told DH about it (why I bothered idk) and he asked me what he should tell her would be a more appropriate thing say. He really thinks that his talks with her that have been going on for 4 years now are going to change something. She already knows it's not nice to say things like that. She just doesnt care. How does she magically know exactly what the correct thing to do and say is when she wants something from them? How does she magically go from refusing to speak to ODS or being even polite to him to all of a sudden being willing to play a game with him and being overly helpful when he needs help, etc when DH walks in the door? Obviously her not knowing isnt the issue. 

Honestly the thing that pisses me off isnt even the random meanness. Not that I like it, especially since its completely one sided and not back and forth bickering. Its completely fine that she would prefer hes not with, shes allowed to feel that way. What pisses me off the most is that she will turn around and use him as a pawn to get attention and be told "what a sweet girl." If you dont like him fine. But dont come up to me and tell me in your fakey voice that "ODS is my best friend" before you ask me for a favor. Dont run to help him when he doesnt even actually need it only because daddy or grandma or whoever else will eat it up is watching and will give you praise for it. Hes not an object for you to treat however it best suits you at the moment with zero regard to him.