whats normal for a 9yr old?
I am getting married in summer 2012 and my finance has a 9 year old daughter. We've been together 3 years and although i don't have any kids of my own ive always been pretty close with my soon to be step daughter....that is until about 4 months ago when she made a complete180. Now she cries all the time. Always tells her dad how mean i am when i ask her to do anything and is very disrespectful to me throwing fits and getting an attitude. I walk on eggshells around her now and don't like being around her. I know shes getting used to the idea of us getting married and has some issues with her mom (if u can call her that). So I'm wondering if her behavior is a serious concern because of the situations she has to face at such a young age or if this is just a 9 year old phase. I get so frustrated with her but worry maybe this is a call for help. Or is it her throwing fits because shes not getting het way anymore. I am more strict than her dad and am still learning how to deal with a kid and that i cant communicate with her like an adult. She fakes hurt All The time and has full on fits when she has to see her mom or any other time she doesn't get her way. She never used to be like this...i used to actually enjoy having her around. So...do i be tough and not let her get away with this behavior or should i be worried about her?
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We've spent alot of time
We've spent alot of time deciding how to handle her and are pretty much on the same page. He always supports me infront of her (even if he doesn't fully agree) and has become more strict on the things i really feel are important (bedtime etc.) I'm also trying to back off on some of the things he doesn't think are important so I'm not nagging all the time.
Hopefully she just has to
Hopefully she just has to adjust to the situation. Last year my 9 year old daughter started regressing and acting like she was a baby-wanted me to do EVERYTHING for her that she could and used to do herself. Then I realized she was jealous of me and DH's 2 yr old and was looking for more attention. She started faking being hurt and doing very weird things that was not normal for her.
I ended up spending some alone time with her and having DH take the baby to work with him on weekends and she went back to normal. Now she is 10 and has an attitude and definitely pushes me but I correct her since she is mine and not a step.
I wonder if BM is feeding her ideas that once you guys get married she will be ignored or pushed out of the way so she is trying to get attention.
Thats what I'm hoping...i
Thats what I'm hoping...i think her dad and i both need to spend some one on one time with here because I'm almost positive BM is feeding her ideas. She has gotten VERY clingy to her dad...to the point she wants to call him if hes gone for more than a half hour and will start crying.
sounds like the bm is
sounds like the bm is brainwashing the poor child with BS about you & the upcoming situation.
Happened here prior to our marriage....in fact not only did the skids act up but they were instructed to do what ever it takes to try and stop us getting married ...
yeap I have the worst BM ever and she is well assisted by her child solders.....the three of them are still trying to destroy our marriage....
its a sickness
good luck
It could very easily be
It could very easily be the
fact that you are getting married soon.
My skids (twins) were 8 when I got married to their dad.
One the the twins attitute changed for awhile there.
We would talk to my skids about the wedding and try to
reassure her that all would be fine.
Some children from divorces always secretly wish that their
parents will get back togehter.
She now knows that there is no chance of that.
Hang on....keep talking to her...she is a child...and needs guidance...
I want to thank everyone for
I want to thank everyone for comments! This is my first post on here and its really comforting knowing that this is pretty normal for the situation and that I'm not alone!!
I want to thank everyone for
I want to thank everyone for comments! This is my first post on here and its really comforting knowing that this is pretty normal for the situation and that I'm not alone!!