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Finally got Stepmonster coming

jojo68's picture

Finally ordered my Copy of Stepmonster this morning...I'll get it Friday in time for the weekend. I am hoping that reading it will help take me out of this gloom I have been under for sometime by giving me some insight and understanding as to why people do the things they do. Looking forward to getting my book! Just wanted to share Smile

Comments

smileygirl's picture

LOL. You should enjoy it but be prepared with a good stretch of free-time because once you start reading it you won't want to stop reading.

loulou87's picture

I just finished reading Stepmonster because so many of you reference it on this site. I read mine while on my way to my friends wedding in Florida where for the first time in 13 years I traveled alone and was responsible for only me for 4 whole days.

This book provides allot of good insight but honestly it depressed me even more than I am because basically this book is about why we are looked down upon and how we will never be able to be happy because of the choice we made to fall in love with a man who has children and an ex.

This book actually gave me the courage and the reasons to start planning my exit from my current relationship.

smileygirl's picture

Wow! It made me feel a millions times better. I'm just guess here but I think it might be about your mind set when reading it. It's like this site, there are days when it makes me feel sooooo much better no matter what the content but other days I have to log off because it's making me feel worse about my situation. I just liked that the book did give facts and support for the situation we are all in without just saying the kids are always right and you need to do everything you can to keep them and their DADDDDDY!!! happy - If you don't like the kid, it's your fault - If you feel angery or hurt, it's your fault, etc.

cant win for losin's picture

The book and this site helped validate my feelings and help me feel like i am not alone, i am not a bad person, i am human, and that i am NOT a bad person. (I know i said that already) but bein a stepmom has put my mind, my self esteem, my self worth, in some low places. It has made me question EVERYTHING!!! Everything about me as a person, as a mom, as an adult. I question what i say, what i do, even what i think. Even when i KNOW the answer, i question that too.

This site and that book helps me remember i am NOT crazy. And THAT i havent questioned since i came here and read that book.

jojo68's picture

All the things you said are exactly how I feel too. I am questioning my life and becoming depressed and scared that my feelings for my DH will change if I continue on the path I'm on. I already find myself at times not being turned on to him physically when I have had to see him and his daughter practically making out on the couch or the recliner in my presence. It is almost as if I feel violated or something.

cant win for losin's picture

Im sorry that i cant relate to the sd dh "close"relationship, but i CAN relate to feeling like the third wheel, the outsider, the one who doesnt belong, the intruder....i could go on and on.
I seeked counseling also. I knew this stepparenting, blended family, was effecting mine and dh relationship for the worse. And i dont want that. I was angry, resentful, hurt, bitter, by dh and his "lack" of parenting. I lost respect for him as a person AND as a man. I lost my trust. I dont trust in his love for me. I dont feel secure in my relationship. And yes these feelings have spilled over physically.
Counseling has helped, the book helped, these forums help. The counseling helps and these forums and the book help keep my focus.
It has been a mess for so long, my mind is a mess. It is like a computer screen with tons of windows open, and pop ups popping up on top of it. They pop up faster than i can close a window.
I feel out of focus, out of control, and when i cant focus in a more organized fashion i cant function.
Me a dh have dd6 months together, i DONT want to go through this with her, so i seeked help before my anger, resentment and bitterness completely destroyed us.
Dont get me wrong, i still struggle. You cant un do years in a few months.

jojo68's picture

Anytime we go somewhere or even at home...I feel like the "third wheel"...embarrassed and humiliated. I had a stepdaughter when I was married to my son's dad and I never felt that way. She was a completely different person and I love her very much to this day and still keep in touch with her. Because of this I do understand it is not jealousy really it is the complete loss of control and helplessness that I feel because I can't do anything to make it better.

cant win for losin's picture

I am embarassed for you Sad

Im sure you have tried to make your feelings known to dh, what was his response?!

jojo68's picture

I know I've told my DH that I feel like an idiot when they act that way and he just thinks I'm jealous because my son doesn't act that way with me :? ...dude is clueless I know! LOL

cant win for losin's picture

Maybe you should act like that with your son!!! LOL put on a show, lay it on thick...

Sometimes i get so mad, i do whatever it is they are doin, or not doin. Right or wrong? Eh, i dont care makes me feel better for the time being.