But why tell me what is going on? I am just your wife. Last week I had some major dental surgery that has taken everything out of me. In lots of pain and a little bitchy. I get that, but he was just mean all week to me and BS16. Turns out he found out that SD15 was put on a three day hold at a hospital for depression. He finds out because he received the hospital bill. Of course, BM wouldn't tell him anything or think to call him.

No, so DH contacts BM. Does he ask why she doesn't tell him or confront her on keeping him out of the loop? Of course not. He is vague about what he tells me and I confront him that we agreed not to keep secrets on this stuff. He was mean and does still truly resent me for what has happened. I had nothing to do with SD's decisions. But, timing is everything.

So apparently he is all proud of himself that they are now texting him and SD and she wants to see him for lunch yesterday. When he tells me, I am ticked because I have spent the last two evenings alone hyped up on pain pills while he has been out with his son. So our evening plans change again. I put the roast chicken planned for dinner, back in the freezer. Fast forward and a couple of other arguments and he tells me that SD15 has cancelled on him again. I tell him I am sorry, but I am sure she is scared to death to see him. It has only been over a year. He doesn't respond to her he forwards the text to BM and points out that he tried and it was not him. He keeps being blamed for this and it is continually SD and BM that say he doesn't try. The guy can't win. My comment after we finally talk at length and he is honest for the first time about all of this. My comment was that he needs to stop conversing with BM since she is lying to him and keeping things from him. He needs to contact the therapist again about the three day hold and get his information from a third party. All of this is a mess. My husband is caught in this web of BM's manipulation. His comments yesterday and mine that this kid is ruined and it is BM's doing. She was an A-B student, now she is failing most of her classes. When she was in the third or fourth grade and you would discipline her, you had to be consistent or she would play the poor me card. DH thinks that is what she is doing now and because she says she is depressed, BM feels she has to react. She doesn't realize that this kid is playing her. My comment to DH when he said it was all up to BM on what information he gets, I said fine. Play it that way. But, if she is clinically depressed and something happens, how will you feel that you left all of this up to BM. You have never given your custody up, nothing has been signed. BM has delayed and delayed.

He could go after for full custody of SD, but he won't. He is done, she has broken him. Well I have offered to move out and have SD move back in. Honestly, I think that is what he should do. But, he won't because he is tired of the courts and the legal system working against him. If he had been allowed to parent a strong willed child, she would have been fine. My marriage would have been fine.

What if this girl is depressed? Her mother will force her back to therapy for awhile, push more pills on her, but she won't deal with the underlying cause. What she has done to her father. I know guilt is finally coming to SD. It has to, she had some compassion for others years ago. No one is this cold hearted. She was manipulating everyone and I truly believe she never thought it would get this far and now it is too late.

I am so tired of thinking we are okay in this marriage and then we are not. It only happens when it is SD or BM related. I feel for this kid, she is so screwed up. A three day hold is on her record. Both at school and now medical. DH didn't realize that that can affect her going forward. Once you are diagnosed with something it is on your records. So BM inability to parent will affect her daughter in the future.

My thing is what else doesn't he know and what else is he hiding from me? I am glad she is talking to him via text, but she is just twisting the knife eveytime she reaches out to him. BM is so stupid. I hate that woman for what she is doing by not forcing SD to see her Dad. He is right he can not parent this way. So why try?