News from BS19 and an absolutely thrilled mom....Parenting insight
My son is about to be published for a research project he is interning in his sophomore year of college. He is a BME student and is working on a stem cell project. Hard to explain, but a machine designed for the density of a stem cell and whether it can be replicated for organs. Very cool stuff. Anyway, this child is brilliant, but when he was looking at college his Junior year and came home and said he wanted to go to one of the top engineering schools in the country and get a biology degree because they didn't have microbiology, my answer was "NO". A very large no. After I calmed down and explained you can't get a job and why would you not get something with Engineering after it at this school given that is what they are known for.
I wouldn't pay a thing. He was angry. Very angry. Knowing he was smart, but not smart enough for a full scholarship, he came around. He really loved that school. So we agreed on Biomedical Engineering. Close enough to Biology, but he could get a job when he was done and not have to get his doctorate if he didn't want to.
I had friends with kids with degrees in Microbiology, cleaning pools. Not going to happen to my kid. He has reminded me again and again that he is only getting this degree because of me and it is really hard. Again and again. My answer is I don't care, you can get a job and have the life you want. You can work anywhere in the world and work for the NIH and CDC, which is what you want. They will take an engineer.
Now he is doing what he want and working on a research project he will get published as a sophomore in college. Unheard of. I am still the mean mom that made him get this degree, but I don't care. I will take it as I write the checks to pick up the remainder of his fees. He knows I am right, he may never tell me, but he knows.
He brags about his school and his program since only one out of 5 that starts in the program actually graduates with that degree. He is getting good grades, despite his complaining about how hard the classes are. I am not crazy about this engineering mentality that they are breeding in him that engineers are smarter than everyone else. Not liking that, but if he gets a good job, I will learn to tolerate that attitude. Since DH has it as well and his siblings, I am not new to this mentality. My answer is usually, my liberal arts degree is paying for that engineering degree. I am thinking of getting a t-shirt made.
I know we are raising our kids to live their dreams, but why can't those dreams be ones that are actually obtainable? I know some will say I should have let him get the degree he wanted. Fine, but he would have had college debt to do it, since my 6K a semester wasn't going to pay for a biology degree.
We can say no to our children. Even to the big stuff. If we don't say no to them, who will?
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I agree...I was at a
I agree...I was at a restaurant last week and talking to this young girl. She had graduated a year ago with a degree in Independent Studies. 5 years to get the degree. She was taking the year off to find herself and now thinks she wants a job in finance. I looked at her and said darling, you seem sweet, but what you are telling is my worst fear for any of my kids. She thought that was funny and her dad just kept nodding. I work in Finance, gave her some realistic advice, like move out of the small town she had relocated to and consider going back to school.
BS dream was to discover a new disease. Not cure, discover it. Read the book the Hot Zone and thought that was for him. Great, I can work with that, but, you are not getting a biology degree, to get to what you want, you will still have to go on for med school at the least. He is no longer talking med school, but he is still talking doctorate. Great, but you need to work at a company or govt agency and get them to pay for it.
It is our job to launch these kids, and we have to do that successfully, telling them that they can follow their dreams is all well and good, but you need to make a living. Ironically, his school doesn't do double majors for engineering, seems most of them are going away from that from what I am told. I double majored and I am not using either of those degrees.
That is great news about
That is great news about being published, he is off to a really good start. I'm glad that he is doing really well.
The only thing to worry about is that the job market does change and our own circumstances change. I have a great science degree, a doctorate, work experience but am yet to find employment where I live because there is less work around in general (lots of work moving to asia) and also there is not so much in my area (I moved to be with my husband). So the good intentions could end up down the drain depending on many factors.
Understood, but my hope is
Understood, but my hope is that at least with engineering in the degree, it shouldn't be much of a problem. His degree is on the cutting edge. We have about 5 engineers in the family and all have great jobs. None in this field since it is only the 4th year taught here.
I have the edge of being in M&A and having exposure to many, many industries and everything I hear from every CEO is they will always hire an engineer over any other degree because they are taught how to think outside the box. I have heard this again and again. At least with this degree he has a fighting chance, not to mention without giving too much info, the govt agencies he wants to work with pull straight from this school and they are the ones actually helping to design the program.
With all the diseases rampant now, he couldn't be in a more necessary field. I am sorry you are having a hard time. I moved once for a spouse and a mandatory transfer and couldn't find work for five years. I forced him to move back after that and take a hardship transfer, because my happiness was important too. He understood. But, I did give him five years and they were honestly the most miserable of my life. I understand that heartache and sympathize.
Thanks for your kind words,
Thanks for your kind words, I'm still hoping to find some sort of work to keep me from going insane.
This is a huge deal as a
This is a huge deal as a sophomore! Congrats. You did the right thing. Engineering is way more practical. I've worked academics and industry. You did the right thing.
My DD 22 got published in
My DD 22 got published in college. She was working for the Government of Iceland taking soil samples to extract DNA because some invasive species had infiltrated the soil. Same as you it is hard to explain. She is Geo Sciences.
Congrats on your son. It is always wonderful when the world acknowledges how great our children are. LOL
My daughter got her
My daughter got her microbiology degree. Finished by the time she was 21 from a prestigious school. She got a job with the place she did her internship. An incredible job, making more money than me. So ,I for one LOVE that she got her microbiology degree. Worked out great for her and she is trilled. Just sayin...it can be done and have a great career.
Edit - sorry, her degree is Molecular Biology.
Just want you to know, there
Just want you to know, there is a huge difference in Microbiology and Molecular Biology. That is in high demand...If he had said Molecular, it would have been fine, just not at this school and since that was the only school he applied to and wanted to attend, he was getting an engineering degree. As close to medicine/biology as he can get. I had said BME or BCE, either would have worked.
Her degree in Molecular Biology is very specialized and from what friends at the CDC have told me, that is a very difficult degree and not as general as Biology or Microbiology. It is not taught there. Not a single friend at the CDC has said that he should get the general degree without going on for his doctorate and since the probability is high that he will burn out after graduation, I didn't want a degree after 4 years that was too general. My friends kid after graduation with a microbiology degree and a 3.5 GPA is cleaning pools. While his other son graduated with a BCE degree, got a signing bonus and a move to SFO to work for an oil company.
You are right it can be done, but not at this school. The first question HR will ask is why did you go there and not get an engineering degree???
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Her husband just finished his
Her husband just finished his degree as well - Engineering. LOL He is making GREAT money right out of school. So that is a great one for your son.
I am a designer - so science is not my thing. I always get both Microbiology and Molecular mixed up in my head. Drives my daughter nuts! hahaha - now ask me architectural questions and I am golden!