Well, it is back to drama again with SD17. After letting her back into family dinners and coming over when she wants, she didn't like what came with that...Actual parenting by DH. She had some inappropriate conversations in front of us and SS15 about drugs and alcohol testing. Dh asked her not to do that. She left crying that he was picking on her. Fast forward the next night and she texted that she was coming for dinner and never showed. We stayed home and waited for her. Next night she calls DH and says she is coming again and he told her that we waited the night before and she should call or text if not coming. About three sentences and that is it. Needless to say she hung up. Well, BM had planned to take SS15 to dinner for her monthly dinner that night. She clearly didn't want to be left out, so she then decided to go with them. While there she put on Twitter that my SS had a face only his mother could love and then next day, put that she envied her friends that had good dads. That is only what I saw on Twitter, I don't instagram or Facebook with her. I flipped out on DH about this. She followed me on Twitter so I responded that my SS was cute, just ask all the girls that keep asking him out. She blocked me.

Well, she started sending nasty texts to my husband about how we weren't fun to be around, we kept lecturing her and don't approve of her life and if we want her to come on vacation with us, we needed to not tell her anything was wrong with what she was doing and we can not talk to her about it. I flipped out and told him this was bullshit and I would not watch what I say or do regarding parenting of any child. She needs parenting and we are late on this given BM doesn't do it and she needed it and often....

We got her to apply to college in the last two months that she has been coming around. Helped her pick a major and try and keep her motivated to graduate and move on. Had the financial discussions about paying for it. All positive conversations. Her talking about drugs and how to fool a test was inappropriate and she was called out on it. Nothing any normal parent would have done.

DH at my assistance went and met with BM to discuss these mood swings she was having. I thought after her twitter rants that she may have been suicidal. Her highs were too high and the lows, sleeping all the time to low. Doing the research, she is clearly Bi-polar. BM agreed and admitted to DH that she thought it for years now and was afraid he would say no. He agrees something is wrong. SD has been seeing a therapist for years and is on about her 4th anti-depressant. Everything I have read they can't just be on that, it works with other meds. It can also cause the symptoms to be worse.

So today, BM and DH are meeting at the therapists office which works under a psychiatrist to change her meds and tell them what they are seeing with the sleeping all the time and the manic episodes. At least the only good thing to come out of this is DH and BM are trying to work together. Unfortunately, it makes it very apparent how little parenting BM is capable of. Her text to DH discussing SD's rage after their argument over him asking her to have complete transparency over social media after she put those tweets out there, clearly BM doesn't know how to handle her. She said, I just sat there and said it was disappointing that she seemed happy coming for dinner all the time. Really? You can't say well I agree with your Dad, you should not put things out there like that and we need to see those feeds. I don't even want to mention Snapchat and what the hell she is doing with that. She bragged about it. Google it, apparently they can make videos or have texting that goes away after 24 hours and only the person you send it to can see it. Pretty sure that is a recipe for disaster with her. The pics of the drinking and the bragging about it and the skipping school on Twitter is just the tip of this....

It was my idea that she have to give access to all four parents for Facebook, Vine, Twitter and Instagram. BM told DH when they met, that she blocked her from Instagram. Again, Really? Why does she have a phone? I can not access Vine or Instagram, since they are Apple products and I use Blackberry....I told DH that he and BM had to stay on top of this stuff. I will not do their parenting for them. I know they will for a week and they will both get lazy. Pattern for years with both of them.

This child has problems and I hope meds will help. But, meds can not make someone accountable for their behavior. That comes with parenting all day, every day. Something will happen with her, DH sees it and BM I think sees it. But, when you combine lack of parenting with Bi-polar, it is a recipe for disaster. She needed a strong discipline and at 17 I think it is too late.

For now, she is not going on vacation with us over the holidays. We uninvited her to Thanksgiving when she got belligerent with DH via text. Now we have plane tickets for her and we are spending an extra grand on Hotels because it changes the type of room we can get with 3 teens. I have told DH she can not come without the full transparency on social media and an apology for her behavior and her condition of us not telling her when disapprove of her behavior, she is not going. I will not spend my very expensive vacation in NY for Christmas watching what I say and do....Nice try kid...