Yes - she is bipolar...They went over everything and agreed to add another med to work with the anti-depressant. DH feels better but, I don't. No plan other than to add another med. DH left after the apt and BM went back for another session, this time with SD. They decided not to tell SD that DH is involved in this now. I disagree. I think she should know. She is hiding stuff from everyone. The person she sees is a Psychiatric nurse practitioner and she works with the Psychatrist who won't see her until she is 18. She has been seeing her for over a year, because BM didn't feel the family therapist was able to prescribe the right meds. At least with BM a pharmacist at least she is on top of that. Horrible parent, but understands this part of it.

The lady did not see any of the manic episodes that BM and DH have seen. She kept saying that she was much better than she had been in the past. All that does is irritate me, because if she was this bad, why was DH not told? Stupid Bitch....

Anyway, there is no plan about increased counseling, which she needs only adding a pill. I really think she needs to be hospitalized but if I say that to DH he gets upset and says that her mom will monitor it better now. Yeah that really worked before.

She is not going to NY with us and she doesn't know that, but I told him, it is not happening since her meds are not under control and with her stipulation of us not talking to her about anything or guidance on getting into college and keeping up her grades, basically we can say nothing, I am not doing it. I will not spend my vacation with our sons, dealing with her crap....They don't want her to go anyway. It won't be any fun if everyone has to watch what they say.

DH at least understands that. I think right now, he just wants to have a relationship with her but, he doesn't know what it looks like. He said that BM said it was apparent that our influence has been there the last two months. She was going to take an aptitude test to help with deciding on a major. She said she never would have done that if we weren't having these conversations with her. My idea...DH knew that I helped with the conversations and said he wants her back and that I have to be a part of it. I got BS18 on to a good track and he wants my help with her. I told him, I was getting pretty checked out again on her and for now, he needed to see her offsite for awhile. She needs to apologize and if she can't do that, then fine, he needs to at least continue to point it out to her that she was wrong and at least see to it that she gets it. This kid has never had any culpability for the crap she has pulled and this inability to say, look, I am sorry, just makes me want less and less contact with her.

She is not my problem. I tried this time, I went all in. I told him that I will do what feels comfortable, no more no less anymore. I am still angry over the damage of 4 years ago. She damn near killed our marriage and did a number on this whole household and no one has ever made her understand what she did. Yes, BM's PAS caused it, but she was responsible too.

I did tell DH that her Bi-polar status, does not excuse bad behavior. If he made any excuses for it, that was it for me. She has to be made responsible for her actions....

For now, we will see how it goes and it is up to him and her what their relationship looks like....