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Court date finally set

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Fri, 02/12/2021 - 9:10am

We go back to court on March 31st. SS is supposed to be with us the 20-28th. 

Any bets on if he shows? He hasn't spoken to DH since he left for Christmas. I am torn on him showing with court a few days later. 

I am sure that DH will think that we are going to have to play over the top "fun" so there is nothing negative that can be reported back in any way, shape or form. 

This is it. The last hearing. The last jumping through a hoop. Our lawyer is swearing that all of the financial stuff will be handled - I just pray it is. Not having CS finalized and Alimony closed out would be our only reason to ever go back. DH and I just need closure. 

 

Comments

tog redux's picture

Submitted by tog redux on Fri, 02/12/2021 - 9:17am

I'm guessing that he will show because there is a court date.

Don't be over the top fun - just say what you want to say to him, enjoy your time. Who cares if you "look bad", that won't affect CS and alimony. 

When does he turn 18? He's 17 now, right?

Thumper's picture

Submitted by Thumper on Fri, 02/12/2021 - 10:24am

Of course he will show up. They have to show the court that he and BM are following the court order (BARF)

It's all about what they will use in court.....

Survivingstephell's picture

Submitted by Survivingstephell on Fri, 02/12/2021 - 10:27am

If this is truly the last time, make sure that there are no hoops to jump thru when CS is over.  I can just see her playing  with that.  

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Fri, 02/12/2021 - 10:49am

Yeah, that is my biggest fear. She will wait quietly until he turns 18 and then try and get everything back dated to when he was 14 and all this crap with us over paying her alimony and CS and her working under the table, etc. and we won't be able to fight it.

CastleJJ's picture

Submitted by CastleJJ on Fri, 02/12/2021 - 10:36am

I don't know... your BM is a special kind of high conflict. She really believes she is invincible in the eyes of the court and the law, so she may not send him. She may blame COVID or sports or who knows. Or she may forge more paperwork, maybe a doctor's note this time... I wouldn't hold my breath. 

Our BM is super high conflict and she has done many unthinkable things, but damn I am thankful she is not your level of BM. I don't know how you do it. Just get through this and be done; finally get the closure you both need. 

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Fri, 02/12/2021 - 10:46am

We heard that starting this summer proof of Covid shots could be required for air travel. We KNOW that will be her excuse if that is the case. She claims he has "auto-immune issues" but no one knows what those issues are.... grrrrr....

I am on the fence, I am sure she figured out what she did wrong with the health department and dr. note last time and will do better this time. She is exhausting. I don't know how she got another man to marry her!

tog redux's picture

Submitted by tog redux on Fri, 02/12/2021 - 11:03am

People under 18 aren't getting vaccinated yet, so if they aren't by then, she won't have a leg to stand on. Plus, there will likely be a way to prove medical exemption from getting vaccinated. 

MissK03's picture

Submitted by MissK03 on Fri, 02/12/2021 - 11:06am

It's really sad that you guys have good visits with him then he just drops off the face of the planet and ghosts you. Clearly from PAS but, when he is there it's good and not miserable. 

This is a tough one to bet on because everyone was surprised he came for Christmas. So many variables always playing around with his visits.. don't know which way to swing. 

Thumper's picture

Submitted by Thumper on Fri, 02/12/2021 - 11:30am

Oh one more thing Justmakingthebest.....

It is never over until emancipation via a court order signed by a sitting Judge reading in very clear laungage ss is emancipated.  Keep buckled UP just making the best.... :(  This has been our experience.

(((HUGS)))) Stash some wine or whiskey  in the garage Wink

 

 

 

Survivingstephell's picture

Submitted by Survivingstephell on Fri, 02/12/2021 - 1:02pm

What would BM do if you just dropped the rope?  Tie up every financial question with the paperwork and give her what she wants?  DH could request a final visit with SS, lay it all out for him, tell him why and that when he is of legal age the door will be open for him. Until then , DH is done with the drama.  
This fight is going nowhere and I know the mental relief that comes with dropping the rope.  DH was not able to give SS any skills in dealing with his nutcase power hungry mother.  Our therapist told DH who was struggling with letting go emotionally, love the ones you're with, leave the door open but move on with your life.  It's just not worth the energy to keep playing. 

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Fri, 02/12/2021 - 1:05pm

That is what we are doing. We aren't going to tell them that we are dropping the rope but we are. As soon as the financial side is done, we quit. We will ask SS if he wants to come out, if he says yes, great, if he says no, oh well. If he wants to come for a week instead of 4- Cool. Whatever. We aren't going to fight anymore.