Nanny Cams
Since SS accused me of abusing my own children- even though our lawyer punched so many holes in that I don't think the judge even gave it a second thought- I just bought Nanny Cams for our house.
I am so grateful to have such a supportive husband. I told him that I hate that I feel like we now have to protect ourselves from SS but if he would lie on the stand and say that DH and I scream and throw things at my children, but I don't feel like there is a choice here. He said to please order camera immediately so that we have them set up before SS gets here and have them figured out.
Once SS gets to our house on Saturday we are going to have a recorded conversation with him explaining that due to him lying on the stand he we have installed Nanny cameras throughout the house and we have also removed all alcohol from the home. We will not be going out to eat while he is here due to "social distancing" so hopefully we will have all of our bases covered. We will be recording it so that he can't say we screamed at him and took his phone away. We are taking his phone away but we won't be screaming when we do it. We will just simply say that he has used that phone to punish his father and now there are consequences for those actions.
I am so glad that the judge laid it all out on the line and told BM she would go to jail for 30 days if SS missed another visit but now it is sinking in that he will be coming and I have to prepare to keep my family safe from his lies.
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We had to do this with Spawn,
We had to do this with Spawn, she falsely accused her ex step father of molesting her and her friend. So when we got custody I let her know that she was not allowed to be alone around DH, me, my BS, my BD, or any family members that she might accuse of touching her inappropriately.
Of course she cried and claimed it was all Meth Mouth who made her do it, which I understood, but at the same time her actions had consequences. It sucked and it was hard, but we made sure Spawn was never alone with any of us and therefore was never able to make any claims like that again. Of course she fabricated other lies, but that's just how these kids roll.
Do you have to inform him of
Do you have to inform him of the cameras? I'd give him a few days , to watch him without him knowing. I can't stand phony people, I'd rather know right away if SS was playing games. I realize it's a tough situation to be in, no true right answer. I'm glad you have them and he will need to know they are a consequence of his and BM's lies.
We want to nix any thoughts
We want to nix any thoughts of lying just straight off the bat.
What a mess JMB.
What a mess JMB.
I want nanny cams that can't be seen but I haven't found anything that won't be taken or removed or detected. If I get something like a plug, the skids will take it to charge things. The live here full time, at least 90% so they take what they want since they are entitles to everyting in the house.
There are cameras on Amazon
There are cameras on Amazon that they charge for a few hours and then the battery life is good for like a year, we have some like that for our front door and they work great.
If you had a link, I would
If you had a link, I would appreciate it.
This is what I bought:
This is what I bought:
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01CW4CEMS/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_...
I think its great that you
I think its great that you are taking ALL precautions when it comes to addressing this. In situations like this you never know and you are taking measures to reduce anything negative that may come from it.
I have a bad feeling that he
I have a bad feeling that he still will not arrive for a visit. She'd likely blame fear of a virus and no judge will blame her for that. Sadly i don't think he'll be coming. I do hope I am wrong
If the kid does come for his
If the kid does come for his visit.. I think you do need to be a bit careful with him.. not just nanny cams (those seem advisable).. but you have to be careful about punishing him.. or giving him big consequences for things that may in many ways have not really been in his control.
It sounds like his toxic mother was really calling the shots and pulling his strings.. if not actually the one that was sending those messages to his dad. I can see her standing over him as he tells dad to not contact him.
His mother likely made his compliance with her agenda involuntary by withholding affection.. or threats and lies..
So.. should his phone use be monitored? Absolutely.. he shouldn't be allowed to bring his mother into the home via this device. Of course, he should have "Some" ability to have a reasonable contact with his mom.. but unfettered access for her to continue to pull his strings? no.. so for THAT reason I would take the phone and I would be likely to remove the ipad unless under supervised use as well.
Any MAC addresses on any of his devices
should be disabled via the router from 11 pm to 6 am
DH gets one call a week at
DH gets one call a week at 8pm on Tuesday. BM can have the same.
He wouldn't be allowed in my
He wouldn't be allowed in my house
That isn't an option at this
That isn't an option at this time. He is a brain washed kid. Taking precautions and being prepared is a must but DH is military. He doesn't get to decide when he can take leave. Right now no military member is allowed out of the local area until May 11th. SS can come to us.
Just put up
ADT signs/ or Simplisafe. "Oh yes we have a security system now due to neighbourhood break ins."
I don't want him to report
I don't want him to report that we live in an un-safe neighborhood. I would rather just tell him the truth. He is a liar and we have to protect ourselves from any more false accusations from him.
I know it's semantics.. but
I know it's semantics.. but instead of telling him "you are a liar"... I might approach it that "we know you haven't been truthful and have told lies... we also know that you may have been encouraged to do so by others.
I have the Blink system from
I have the Blink system from Amazon. Cameras are cordless and about 2" square. You can adjust (via phone) how long it will record when it detects motion. Can also go into "live" mode.