Need Opinions

Everyone here KNOWS that I don't want SS17 to come out for spring break. However, I am all in my head about this whole settlement.

Flights are supposed to be accounted in CS numbers since DH is fronting the whole cost. We average about $700, what is supposed to be 3X per year. That is a straight deduction of $2100/year off of CS ($175 per mo). We did not buy a ticket at Xmas because neither SS or BM would respond and frankly we wanted a peaceful Christmas after everything we had just been through with DD's accident, we didn't even want to buy a ticket last minute, which is what normally happens when SS won't respond.

SS won't respond for spring break, neither will BM. Do we spend the money and buy the ticket and if he doesn't show, whatever, but it pays off in the end to show that we should still be credited that money? Tickets are $553 today and a big part of me goes, well if we can prove that we are still paying flights and should have been credited $175/mo that is almost 10K that we would have off of our arrears. I am just afraid that if we don't buy it, flights won't be taken into account like they should since we are literally in the middle of this whole recalculation and settlement.

PS- tomorrow is the deadline the judge gave for her tax returns! Who has money on her not providing them and getting away with it! I'm down for $100! LOL

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I doubt you will get credit

I doubt you will get credit for flights he doesn't take. It just isn't in your "luck"..

And.. it's a net zero thing.. you don't get the deduction if they aren't bought.. but you had to buy the tickets so it's a one for one thing.. at best case.. worst case is you buy tix.. he won't use them and you don't get the credit.

From what we can tell on the

From what we can tell on the worksheet and from what our lawyer said- it is a standard deduction in KS that was not calculated by the judge. We have saved every ticket recepit, even all the ones he never took. As long as they were purchased and BM was notified and we were following visitation orders (which we have always done) the deduction is supposed to be factored.

I just think we have to buy it. I feel like if we don't she will say that he isn't even going anymore so it doesn't matter- and all the previous tickets will be wasted.

No.. I think the prior

No.. I think the prior reciepts for visits taken.. and maybe the ones wasted should be provided for credit. It doesn't matter whether he goes to future visits.. if it is standard and should have been factored in.. it should be applied for past instances.

I think there is full justification for showing the recent attempts to arrange the travel that were ignored or wasted by them.

What About The Texts/Emails

You mention no one responding to your DH....so wouldn't those texts, clearly stating needing dates to purchase the tickets count as evidence in court? I think you have a better chance here due to the judge halting that original order for BM's tax returns. And if she doesn't provide them, I don't think the judge is just going to let her get away with it. So, you can either buy the ticket and waste the money (technically not on you as you guys will be reimbursed via lessening CS) but it is a waste if SS doesn't use it. OR, you can keep your texts....actually send another one stating you are demanding the dates or will be forced to not purchase the tickets and report to the courts. Then keep the texts for the judge. Just my thoughts. Never had to deal with this type of situation.

I agree it should be credited

I agree it should be credited regardless, we are on the hook for buying them, but I just worry that if there was no actual expense- we won't get the credit. I am so afraid to rock the boat. It sucks to spend the money, especially with the arrears hanging over our heads but I can't gettiing out of it. I just have to pray that he doesn't show...

I don't think I would bring

I don't think I would bring this up because it could bite you and he might end up needing to pay more in CS. Seriously let this sleeping dog lie.

What do you mean?

We are in the middle of the settlement with the lawyers and judge. BM has to submit her taxes by tomorrow. The calculations are being redone for the total we should have been paying for the last 5 years and all of these calculations are coming into play. I am just afraid that since we didn't buy the ticket at Christmas, if we don't buy the one for spring break it will be used against us.

What should happen is we get credit for all of the flights for 2021 and prior and can move forward without having them calculated but I feel like it is all or nothing with this judge.

Oh I misunderstood I thought

Oh I misunderstood I thought you were thinking of going back to court just for this.

It's definitely going to be up to the judge to decide whether or not to include it. I think you have a pretty good case to show that the tickets weren't purchased because of bm's lack of communication and cooperation, but you guys did the research and had every intention to purchase them if BM would have confirmed the date.

I would purchase the ticket,

I would purchase the ticket, send them the info and go from there. If it gets you the credit back great, for the Christmas one you could always site rising Covid cases and mass flight cancellations and lack of response had your DH not purchasing a ticket at that time.

I feel like us just getting

I feel like us just getting back from DD's hospitalization in NY would be justification too. That we were going to buy them after Thanksgiving but then the accident happened and we were dealing with that crisis and getting her home and stable.

Edit

I just saw that you saved every receipt. That is good news! Both flights whether he ended up getting on them or not should be factored in. It is not your DH's fault whatsoever he did not make it on the flights or not. If your DH didn't buy tickets for your SS that would of been held against him so it should be used against BM for not putting him on the flights

I agree, I don't think it is worth the risk to not buy the tickets. I would rather lose $700 or so dollars to show your DH still is buying him flights besides all the nonsense happening then risk the judge not honoring past flights because of one time you didn't buy a flight for him. As for not buying a flight for Christmas, your DH does not have to take his visitation because it is not 50/50 and the family was still dealing with everything from your DD's accident.

Just my opinion, I would rather protect yourselves than risk the judge looking at it sideways because he doesn't like your DH did not buy him a ticket for spring break

I emailed DH and told him

I emailed DH and told him that I think we need to buy the tickets. We can reach out and give them one last change to say something but at the end of the day, we need to buy them vs. it looking like we aren't trying to follow the CO. If there wasn't so much money on the line, I wouldn't care.

I agree

You can't complain about someone not following the court order if you are not following it either, kind of neutralizes the issue. Just like for us when BM didn't leave in time for SD to make her flight to us for Christmas, since SD didn't make her return flight because of how long the line was to get her checked in, we can't use that against BM. Now it is a neutral issue.

Is it worth getting a more expensive ticket?

One that you can get a refund on or a credit note to use on another flight if you cancel in time. This way you could show the flight to the court but then change it afterwards to something useful.

Under normal circumstances I

Under normal circumstances I would agree with you but for the last 2 years BM won't even confirm she put him on the flight and SS won't text until he is at his layover. FAA won't allow the airlines to say if he is on the flight or not. It is very frustrating, especially not knowing when one of us needs to leave work (Due to the military DH can't always be there) to get to the airport.

Oh, yes

I'd forgotten this element of the BM/SS visit issues. Very annoying.

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