I would have to agree with Fearless. What does DH say? Maybe DH should talk to her first, and if she wants to apologize to you or talk to you about it leave the option up to her. But it might be enough if she just knows, from DH, that you know how she really feels, and how hurt you were.

My mom and I are best friends too, and have been for a very long time. Like fearless we had some tough times growing up, but we always shared everything, and to this day it has created a bond that most parents could only dream of having with their chidlren.

~ Katrina

I would have to agree with Fearless. What does DH say? Maybe DH should talk to her first, and if she wants to apologize to you or talk to you about it leave the option up to her. But it might be enough if she just knows, from DH, that you know how she really feels, and how hurt you were.

My mom and I are best friends too, and have been for a very long time. Like fearless we had some tough times growing up, but we always shared everything, and to this day it has created a bond that most parents could only dream of having with their chidlren.

~ Katrina

De inimico non loquaris sed cogities.
Remember, just like we have this place to go and vent, she may use her myspace as a place to go and vent. That doesnt mean that she feels that way about you all the time, so what she does in your face( hugs, sweet talk ect.) could very well have quite a bit of truth to it.I understand that it hurt you, as it would any of us, but I remember as a teenager I kept journals and that was where I would write down all the anger, resentment ect. that I had towards my own mother. That didnt mean I didnt love her,However, I imagine she would have felt like I didnt love her if she had ever read the things I wrote. Talk to dh about it if you would like but I wouldnt even let him say something to her about it, as you dont want her feeling like you invaded her privacy. DH could however feel her out about you in passing conversations....

I wouldn't say a word to her about her "myspace"...the only reason I say that is you don't need the "you're snooping in my stuff" argument to blow up in your face along with the fact that she may not like you as much as she puts on. There's always the possibility that it's just teenage angst like you said...a lot of kids act like they hate their real parents (I ALWAYS did when I was a teen) but they really don't. If you can approach the subject without actually talking about how you've read it on myspace, I think that would be much better.

*~So sayeth Nymh~*

I've been there, but I took the other road. I called my SD one day and my BS picked up the phone. The caller ID name from her phonebook came up and it said BITCH! Well, needless to say, my son was stunned. It took him 2 days to tell me. When he did, I went straight to her phone, looked up my number and sure enough she had typed in BITCH. I was so hurt and furious. I didn't take time to talk it through with anyone (didn't know about you all at that time). I showed it to my DH and he blew his stack. My SD was 12 at the time and was living with us half time (3-4 days per week). He explained to her that if it wasn't for me that this child would have NOTHING and that I didn't deserve that kind of disrespect. In that conversation, she was being a normal, smart-a$$, almost-teen girl and he got to the point that he was so angry that he told her to get her sh*t together and she was going to her mother's forever. Scared SD to death because BM is worthless - known Meth addict, no job, forgets to pick SD up from school, etc. My DH doesn't make idle threats and SD and I know it. At that point, I stepped in and talked him out of it (she heard everything). I stood up for her and begged him not to throw her out because of one mistake. I grew up without a father and didn't want the same for her. He left the house for a while and while he was gone SD and I sat down and had a heart to heart. I explained that kids sometimes feel angry toward their parents, blah, blah, blah - but parents still deserved respect for all the day-to-day things we do - some of which they have no idea about. At that point she broke down in tears and said she had no idea why she did it except that she knew she wasn't supposed to like me (crap from her mother) and it made her mom happy to see that on her phone! Wow!!

It helped to talk it through with her though - we have a much better relationship now. For what it's worth - I never believe the best answer is to "not talk about it" as it just festers and festers and your SD will feel it when you are around. Sometimes it's just how you talk about it that makes the difference.

Final note - as a parent, I agree with Cruella - it's my job to invade some of their privacy. When kids know that they are being watched, they tend to behave better --- I don't care how old they are!

Do not cease from doing good - for at the right time we will harvest --- if we do not get tired first! Gal 6:9

First off my-space is full of drama. The more drama you have the more popular you can be, more sympathy. Kids eat that shit up.
Hopefully she really didn't mean it.
I used their my-space to check on the skids. I didn't want them to know I knew about it. That's how I found out SD16 had sex and BM knew about it.
If you can swallow the hurt, it can be a useful tool in the future.

Just my take. Jo