I am just so stressed out I am sitting at work not be able to work cause the internet is down so it just give me time to sit here and think. I hate that my baby is at home/my moms house sick and I cant be there for him that's what a mom should do take away all the pain. The Dr appt out of town have become expensive and bills aren't getting paid on time we have 2 bills we are sill behind on. I am glad DH got this new job its more money so this is going to help!

I keep telling my husband that its my fault his and the girls relationship is all messed up if I never would have come along he would be happy and things would be ok. I just don't get how it has got so bad me and DH have been together for 2 yrs and I have always be this way, from the girls having to clean up after them self and trash stuff like that and even the getting on to them. I don't want to be a mean step-mom but I don't want my kids to look bad and look like they have no knowledge on how to act.

I was telling DH today a part of me feels like sending the girls balloons to school just to say HI we love you kind of thing but at the same time we feel like that's trying to buy them. and its saying we will do and give them anything to talk or see them and neither one of us is going to do that at all. Its gone down hill so fast that its a slap in the face to both me and DH and I'm sure for him it hurts worse.

Its hard when we dropped the girls 6 & 9 off for the summer and we told them when we see you guys next we will be getting you ready for school and they both were excited! Then when they got to there moms SD9 started telling lies and things get got crazy we find out SD was telling us lies and now who or what do we believe? Then when your daughter comes back and tells you I don't like you I never have and never will now every time she is at our house your can cut he tension with a knife. Its not fun to have them there anymore and when we do i feel like I have to walk on egg shells with what I say or do I don't feel like i can just be me!