You know I have been on both sides of the step parenting issue. My ex and I divorced when my sons were very young. Call me crazy but I always hoped when my EX was involved with someone that she would like my sons. I did everything I could to encourage their relationship with her. It made me and them I think both feel better. I didn't have to worry about them getting their feelings hurt because the new girlfriend was acting like she didn't want them around or like them etc. or was mean to them. It just made things easier for me. I even babysat the girlsfriends two year old daughter a few times so she and my ex could have some alone time. It just seemed that doing the best thing for my sons should always be a priority. And helping them maintain a close relationship with their father seemed like the best thing after all it wasn't their fault their parents divorced. Now however I am on the other end of it. My BF's ex is determined that I have no relationship with his son at all and to totally undermine my BF's realtionship with him. She doesn't care how much she hurts him as long as she hurts my BF in the process. I have no desire to "replace" her in anyway and she has no reason to be jealous of my relationship with her son. In fact she has made life so miserable for us that I am at the point I want no relationship with the child at all, so she is getting what she wants. I guess we are just total opposites in our way of thinking and looking at things. When I read some of the posts on here about step parents being upset because the EX's are still close I have to wonder......why? I honestly had no other motive then to do what was best for my sons. No I didn't go to family parties or holidays etc. but I made that choice out of respect for the new girlfriend. When my ex-in-laws deo come to town (they live out of state) I always make a point of seeing them for at least a few minutes. If my ex-nephews want to come over and swim or play on the trampoline I have no problem with it. They are my son's cousins after all. I would never want my son's to feel that any of their relatives were not welcome in my home. So I just don't get any this. It just seems to me that it would be better for every child who is the product of divorced parents to have parents who think this way. Just my 2 cents.