So annoyed
Does anyone else feel that their DH/FH needs to step it up, grow some and pay attention to and discipline his child? I mean, I'm not saying he is a horrible dad but at the same time he will rave about what a good dad he is, but really what does it mean to be a good dad. Because you pick her up each week when you are supposed to or because you pay child support each month? BUT sitting on the couch watching TV for 2 damn days while I take care of his child, the house, cooking, cleaning. I'm sorry but letting a 3 year old do whatever she wants to do including watching TV (which she has in her room and I DO NOT agree with) for a zillion hours a day. This isn't even mention how she is already learning to manipulate, talk back, has attitude and does'nt listen for anything. But when I do get on her and make her listen I am all of a sudden the mean and evil one. "But babe she is only 3"! Well, what the hell is it going to be when she is "only 16"????? Having a background in ealry childhood and being a Kindergarten teacher, makes it even harder. I don't think it is too young for her to learn right from wrong. He just lets her yell at us, talk back. And both of them (FH and BM) think it is cute and laugh. Of course she thinks it's okay to act like that when everyone laugh and think it is cute. I am just really worried about a year and a half from now when she goes to school and the problems she is going to have. She had no social skills at all. Part of me wants to just let it go and let what ever is gonna happen, happen. But the morally responsible person in me wants to make it right and I don't want a kid that lives in my house part of the time to be out of control.
UGGGHHHH!! So annoyed!!!!
- Kteach109's blog
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Comments
Yes - quite a few of us on this website
You are right to worry. When we got married, to my horror, I got to watch SD16 throw temper tantrums like a 2 year old. I was shocked. Being the expressive individual I am, they rightly read my emotions. Who was I to come in and look horrified but what had previously been acceptable behavior at DH's house. Well, it was disgusting and once DH started putting his foot down, things got a lot better. Then "The Destroyer" AKA SD16 came after me with her nasty antics to get rid of me. Hello, who was I to spoil her queenly reign???
But really, I shouldn't have had to deal with this @#$@. DH has gotten a lot better but it was a real struggle. You need to get DH to see it's in the best interests of SD to nip this in the bud.
"Evil Stepmothers aren't born, it comes with the territory"
wow i feel the exact same
wow i feel the exact same way. Sd is 5 and gets away with everything.Dh always talks about how he is a good dad and etc. When Sd is over he goes on the computer or sits there and watches TV and ends up falling asleep for me to take car of SD and BD. SD doesn't have any rules at all I'm trying everything to get him to realize she going to turn into a monster if he continues to not give her rules. She wanted to go on her scooter outside last weekend and she wasn't listening(I told her not to do something she looked at me i said it again and she started to do it anyways) so i said no she started crying so he said I'll think about it but don't ask again so ten min. later she said dad did you think about it she thought that because she didn't exactly say can i ride my scooter it wasn't asking again he said its raining out you cant now it wasn't raining just thundering. I had to butt in a say no you cant ride your scooter because you didn't listen. He thinks because she doesn't live with us when she is here he has to give her everything she wants he doesn't realize she would be happy with him just paying attention and taking time out from work to play with her
YES!!!!Mine does the same
YES!!!!Mine does the same thing. Just because she doesn't live with us it's ok do let get away with murder. As a matter of fact there was a time when she was going through this phase (because she's 3) that when he would pick her up she would scream for her mom. I told him it's just a phase, it has nothing to do with you, just ignore it and she will stop. Well in the following weeks I started to notice that he would have small gifts for her for when he picked her up. When confronted about it he said this: "if I get her things then maybe shw will want to go with me when I pick her up"! WHAT!!! OMG! I am happy to say that kind of stuff has stopped. She needs to learn that she can't have everything that she wants and definitley will not get anyhting as long as she is throwing a fit , screaming and whining! UGHHH!! Once again, so glad I found this site. I really was starting to feel like I was the worst person on Earth for having certain expectations of FH and his child.
Kteach
Definitely, they need to grow a set.
"If your going through hell, keep on going, don't slow down, if you're scared, don't show it, you might get out before the devil even knows you're there" -Rodney Atkins
Her behavior
is due partly because she is THREE. The other reasons are:
1. her parents are NOT together
2. her father is parenting thru guilt
3. her father is with someone other than her mother.
If he is letting her watch tv for hours on end he is not parenting, he's her tv buddy. If you are doing all the household chores (and that was not the deal going in)he is not being a good husband.
Sounds like he needs parenting skills and you both need some counseling.
I am afraid that you are in for a long and difficult ride. If you are feeling this frustrated now, unless your man learns a whole lot real fast you may not like how things will turn out. NO crystal ball-----just a realistic vantage point.