Does anyone else deal with skids who want pity?
Yesterday evening everyone was playing out in the back yard and SD11 tripped and hit her foot on the bottom of our swing set. Immediately, it seems to be "touch and go" and the end of the world. She refuses to even try to walk on it and we put an ice pack on it. This morning she was still refusing to walk on it and says it hurts soooo bad. I make an appointment and we get seen at noon today. The doc is checking it out, poking it, moving it, pressing on toes, etc..She doesn't react to any "pain" He tells me that it looks like it's just bruised and there is no broken toes or bones and SD's face drops. She gets majorly irritated. He says that if the pain isn't ANY better by Friday to bring her back for Xrays. We're driving home (She walked back to our truck NO Problem, But I helped her gimp it to the office GRR) SD goes on to say that she will call us on Friday to have us set up an appointment(She will be with her grandparents for the weekend)I tell her that I don't think she will need one and that she will be fine. She keeps on and on about how it hurts so bad and that she needs something to be done. I tell her it's bruised and yeah it's gonna hurt a bit, but shes fine. She says she WANTS A CAST and hints about the attention she will get!
Even DH asked me if she needed to be seen or if she was MILKING IT! She has the pain tolerance of a gnat!!
UGH! I hate people that crave attention!
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Yes keep her in bed and let
Yes keep her in bed and let her rest.
Oh SD7 is ALWAYS wanting
Oh SD7 is ALWAYS wanting pity. she wants us to put her in a cart at the grocery store or a STROLLER in the mall... but she run and jumps JUUUUUST fine at a playground, and routinely walks the dog with FDH. The first time she went with him when she came in I asked her if she was hurt, or if she had swollen bodyparts (her fave line is 'I can't do that, my joints will get swelled").. she said no, she had a nice walk with just Daddy and the dog. Boy did her face look funny when I told her the walk was 1.5miles and that we don't want to hear her complaining about her legs ever again, they work just fine.
BM1 is the culprit in this situation, SD7 even tells her teachers she can't do things because she's brainwashed into thinking her knees and ankles swell with 'prolonged' activity. BM1 LOOOOVES the attention she get's from SD being 'special' and is teaching SD to enjoy it too.
The only advice I have is to point out that she is okay whenever possible. I always check and see their injury myself, bu if it's nothing I don't give in to demands for band-aids or anything, if the SDs or my bio get overly dramatic I set them up in their boring beds with their arm/leg/whatever elevated and tell them oit has to rest until it doens't hurt anymore. Miraculously it's better in 5min lol.
I didn't read the other
I didn't read the other replies here but your blog struck a post with me. Some of this to me sounds concerning IMO. Not the injury or cast part but the hurt for attention part. I totally did the same as your SD BUT I couldn't tell a soul what really was hurting.
Your SD's injury or not, you can help her with this I believe anyways. To the point..give her the medical attention as needed of course but don't show pity. A trick you can do after she is no longer hurting, make her up a fake cast just bc you can. She may be dealing with inner issues that she does not share with you or anyone for that matter but she needs to know that she is loved and cared about. A light sense of humor and assurance that she IS cared about hurting or not can make a huge difference for her. Just saying...
Seriously I hurt deep within over my bio parent issues as a child and bc I wasn't heard nor able to express, I had soaked up on the attention of any given injury and faked it when all else failed. I even started hurting myself {gave myself black eyes} cause I was hurting and my pain was not visible.
I will leave it at that being that this is a public board...
You've made a good point and
You've made a good point and I agree with some of what you said. She did get the medical attention that she needed. The doc made it clear that it was just a bruised foot and nothing more. She does want the attention and she has plenty of family members that give her an enormous amount of attention. She is in counseling and we're struggling to get past certain issues that she had/has.. and it's become clear that it's going to be a very long process. I have wrapped her foot in an ace bandage for today.. But her faking injuries for any type of attention is not okay.. for whatever reason. I don't believe in crying wolf for any reason.
I hear you and you are doing
I hear you and you are doing the right thing! I say what I said bc girls can be a nightmare with this stuff. Sadly it can take years for a girl to come around if she feels like a victim. I'm in my early 30's now and I'm just getting my head out of my butt that way. To spare you the headache, I wouldn't even worry about "fixing" her.
What has stopped me from actions you see in your SD, getting the attention over being hurt was it. Its not bad now for me but honestly I took injuries to the next level when I felt that the minor ones were being over looked. Mind you I don't know you or your story and am only speaking from personal experience which means that in this case, I could very well be dead wrong. My advice was given to you in a way of giving you the chance to do what you got to do so you can move on and hopes of your SD having time to move forward herself in given time too with the least amount of headache for all involved.
I too have a SD that loves her attention...its sad no matter how I look at it to be honest. With my SD, I found that handling fake injuries with more attention helps her to move forward with less drama as well as fills her empty tank so to speak.
Mine just pulls the diabetes
Mine just pulls the diabetes card to make us do what she wants.
sd20 was like this as a
sd20 was like this as a teenager. every cough was bronchitis, every headache was a migraine (i doubt she has ever had a migraine in her life), every sneeze was because of the worst sinus infection known to man, you name it, she had it. she complained of a "dislocated hip" while walking around just fine. my all time favorite will always be her "infected tastebud". :?
i don't know what she was like pregnant because i was 100% disengaged during that time, but i would have to believe she was a nightmare. she's not quite as bad anymore, but she does still think she's sick an awful lot when whatever her issue happens to be, it's something that i would still go to work if it were me, yet she thinks everything warrants a trip to the ER.
"infected tastebud" I about
"infected tastebud" I about died laughing! She sounds like an attention hog really. Glad you disengaged for at least some of which..
Yup. SS8 is the biggest drama
Yup. SS8 is the biggest drama queen ever born, thanks to BM. At least he's finalyl learned that the dramatics only work with her, and raely even tries the waterworks with us anymore!