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I need help with attitude. I'm almost at a loss. :( What am I going to do?

LaMareOssa's picture

So, as Ii have blogged about before, DH got custody of SD10 back in January. We were so happy to finally have SD. But, now I'm wondering if that the in he bes tinterests of everyone involved. Sad

I love SD, but the way she has been raised is making life frustrating and I'm at a loss as to what to do at this point. Here are the basics: Since Kindergarten, SD was never made to do much homework. I know she missed 17 of the 20 assignments in Kindergarten. 1st,2nd,3rd, and half of 4th grade has followed the same pattern. DH got custody in the later half of 4th grade. Honestly, looking back, and looking at report cards, sometimes I wonder how she passed 3rd and 4th grade. So, now in 5th grade the math is much harder and so is the spelling and Vocab. And getting her to finish her work in a timely manner is irritating. She doesn't whine or complain about doing homework, she just completely shuts down when we try to talk to her about it and help. We've thought about a tutor, but DH worked with SD alot over summer break and she now (finally) knows her multiplcation facts and CAN do the math, she just doesn't want to.

Second Issue: Her attitude: Her mother is a giant bitch and so is her older sister 15 who acts just like their BM. Her older brother seems to just be shut down and doesn't show emotion. I can understand that living with a person who has a bad attitude will wear off on you eventually, but I can't take it. We have had to work wth SD about basic mannerssince she was little. But when she came back from being with her mother, obviously, everything we worked on was gone.

Since DH got custody, I have made sure that manners are used all the time and SD isn't a bad kid, but she just has a rude personality I guess. Mmy BIGGEST problem is DD6, it seems like SD's rude personality has rubbed off on her now. Especially when it comes to DS3, he is the sweetest little boy and DD6 is so rude to him.

I have tried talking to them about their rude and hateful attitudes, I've tried time outs, taking games away and I even spanked DD6 the other day for screaming in my face. DD seems to think that the way SD treats her is normal behavior and I have tried talking to DD about how it is mean, rude and hateful to act the way SD acts. I've told DD6 very bluntly that SD is very rude and mean and that she was never taught manners, but [you] were. She seems to understand, but goes back to her shitty attitude. I've told them that their little brother loves them very much and it is sad when they are rude or mean to him. DD6 seems to get it sometimes, but SD just stares at me with zero emotion.

I don't know what to do. My DD6 used to be the sweetest little girl ever and now she acts just like one of BM's kids Sad What do I do to get my sweet girl back? What do I do about her taking after SD? I wish I could change SD, but I have tried and she will never change, I can see that now, but I can help my daughter.