SD11 doesn't seem to understand that she is a child. She is not her half siblings' (DD7 and DS4) mother or their father. She is DH's daughter, his child, not his wife or partner. I don't understand the behavior or thought process of SD11. SD has never even been asked to "watch" DD or DS. Never baby sat or been responsible for them, so I don't understand why she feels like she is the parent in this house. Maybe I could understand if I was not involved with my children/didn't care/ didn't pay attention etc..Then maybe SD would feel the need to jump into that type of parenting role, but it's the opposite here. I am always here with the children. I am the one who usually disciplines when needed, I play with them, help with homework, etc..I'm not emotionally and or physically absent so there is no need for SD11 to Not understand boundaries.

With that said.. DH and I have been having problems with SD over stepping her boundaries. She is always trying to tell DD and DS what to do. This seems to surpass the usual bossiness of some kids. She is always telling them what to do like "Oh, go brush your teeth, bed time, do this, do that, do your chores" etc. Each and every time DH or I hear this we tell her that that is not her responsibility and that it's not okay to do those things.

Yesterday when DD and SD came home from school I told them they needed to start their chores. DD started hers in her room while SD was in our kitchen doing hers. I am helping DS in his room and I can hear SD telling DD that she needs to do them, do it right, do it her way, blah blah. I come out and tell SD that's enough and to focus on her on responsibilities. 5 minutes later, I hear SD in their room telling DD that something wasn't okay and it wasn't done how SD expected her to do it. I walk into their doorway and I see SD holding both arms full of DD's things, on the floor. DD is standing there with her mouth open, staring at SD11. DD is telling SD to stop telling her what to do and that she is in the middle of doing something and to please let her do what shes doing and to stop pulling her stuff out.

SD was going behind DD, pulling things off DD's dresser, out of her drawers, and throwing it on DD's bed. SD was telling DD that it wasn't done the right way (cleaning her area of their room)

I tell SD to "Stop that right now. You're not their mother, I am. You're not their father either and you have no right to pull her things off her dresser or out of her drawers. They(DD and DS) are NOT your responsibility, they are mine. If something isn't done correctly, I AM the one who will inform them. We have talked to you about this behavior and how it is unacceptable. Do not ever do that again." SD just stared up at me from the floor as the things slowly fell out of her arms. She had a creepy blank stare on her face. SD walked away and I went and helped DD put her stuff back.

SD also makes comments to DH like "Have they done this yet?" -referring to chores, teeth brushing, pj's etc. In a tone that would make you think she is his partner. She will say these things while I am actually helping DS brush his teeth :? :?

Apparently, DH has talked with SD's therapist about this weird behavior and SD tells the counselor that she understands her role as a child, but clearly she doesn't. I told DH what happened and he said something along the lines of "WTH is wrong with her? We've talked about that. She isn't their mom, you are. WTH. I don't get it. I guess she doesn't understand that she isn't the parent. If my brother did that to me, I'd wanna punch him in the throat. I'm surprised DD didn't snap"

Weird. Weird. Weird.