I'm falling apart here ladies
The last post I posted said how wonderful everything was going here. Well, the beginning of this week marks the worst days of being a step parent thus far. Bear with me because I am still trying to wrap my mind around this myself.
Monday I recieved a call about my MIL attempting to take SS9 out of where he is at the moment. During the process of this phone call, a few more things come to light, such as my MIL and SIL are calling and alleging that I abuse the children, to which they are told that if that is how they really feel then they do not need to be telling this person, they should be calling the proper authorities.
Which they did. Tuesday I recieved a letter in mail advising me that child welfare or CPS wants to speak with me about my children. WTF!!!! So I call the number listed and it turns out that the case worker is in training for 2 days, Wed and Thur. Okay, so I all the supervisor, all she can tell me is that someone is alleging abuse and that the case worker will be glad to tell me exactly what those allegations are.
Heres what I know:
1) MIL has told SS9 to tell therepist that I hit him with a frying pan
2) MIL has told SS8 to tell DH that I choked him
3) MIL has questioned SS8 endlessly, to the point that SS8 was very upset when he came home
4) MIL has already alleged abuse with a proffesional(sp), however that person has intimate knowledge of the goings on in my household.
5) SIL has done #1 and #4 as well.
6) Just lasat night, I recieved a call from another family member on MIL side, telling me that they do not want SS9 back in the home and if I would have just given him away, then no one would have ever called CPS.
7) I recieved a call this morning from MIL saying that she had nothing to do with this. To what, I asked. This DHS thing. Oh, well how do you know about that if you had nothing to do with it? I expect you say that, so you're really not telling me anything new.
My biggest problem is not that CPS are going to come take my children away, it is that no matter how good I try to be, I am far from perfect and to be faced with even the POSSIBILITY of losing my baby and SS's is beyond the scope of anything I am equipped to handle. I am sick, my gut hurts. You know what I mean? That feeling that twists your insides and make you wanna throw up?
I NEVER have and NEVER would abuse my kids, but how does CPS make the determanation? Brusies? NONE. Food? Enough to feed an army. Clothing? Mostly new and tons of them. Spoiled? Ya, just a little.
No proof, and I know that, but I don't think I am going to breath easier until it is all over with.
I know I posted this on MYSPACE and some of you have already read some of this and if anyone has gotten this far, thank you so much. My question are, Am I crazy for believing it is MIL who did this? Am I wrong for cutting off all contact with them until this thing gets resolved? Am I over reacting? Is it silly to be scared even though I know there is no reason to believe that they will take the kids?
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What your feeling is natural.
I think it's only human to want to close ranks right now around your family, so do that and don't worry what MIL or anyone else thinks about it. Hang in there. Just get through it, one breath at a time, and soon it'll be over. And then you can cut MIL off without another thought and be done with the old bag.
~ Anne ~
"Love, having no geography, knows no boundaries."
(Truman Capote)
The old bag
Anne, you know to make a girl laugh even when things are going to shit. Thank you.
~THE EXERCISE THAT REALLY CHANGES YOUR LIFE IS WALKING DOWN THE AISLE~
No, they don't care much for the BM
but they know they could pay her off. They don't want SS9 comming back into our home b/c we put him in a mental facility so they thought the best way to get what they want is to call CPS and hopefully they will believe them over EVERYONE else and they will get SS9 in their home. At least I have been able to glean that much.
~THE EXERCISE THAT REALLY CHANGES YOUR LIFE IS WALKING DOWN THE AISLE~
I actually think having him
I actually think having him hospitalized will work in your favor. Doesn't it show the lengths you will go, as parents, to help this child, no matter how painful it is to you personally? Being a parent is tough. You have to be willing to make the hard decisions. If you aren't willing to do that, then be prepared... today's bundle of joy will turn out to be tomorrow's juvenile delinquint. No one wants to have to use the tough love approach, but as a parent, sometimes you have to do what is necessary. What you did was necessary. You can't be faulted for loving and protecting your children, and having him hospitalized at the risk of being attacked for your decision, shows that you are putting yourselves last and putting his mental health first.
~ Anne ~
"Love, having no geography, knows no boundaries."
(Truman Capote)
What I find interesting...
Since you did put SS in an institution... WHEN would it be possible for you to abuse him?!! I think that is an interesting point... Granted, if it was before, well... it's called hearsay. Where's the burden of proof? I don't understand how these so called grandmother's do such things like this to their grandchildren. Do they not realize that the drama that they ensue affects THEIR grandchildren? I don't get it.
Man has the intelligence to change his life,
Sometimes, he just fails to use it...
No your not even out of line
No your not even out of line much less crazy. Anyone worries when told CPS is going to be there because no one is perfect and so much of life is the interpretation but it sounds like CPS isn't banking on anything they have heard since (atleast here) if the allegation is anything more than minor they will be at the house in just a day or so(atleast that was how it was with our false?unfounded accusations)this thing should pass just remember your obviously not the problem but since you know who are you can take care of that when this is resolved. I hope all goes well and fast.
You All make excellent points
Anne, Stepmom, both of you make very valid points and I am very thankful that we have the therepist on our side. It does seem weird how can reach through a locked facility and abuse my SS with all the staff there and the fact that he has been there a month already and this CPS crap just happened last week, then I think the CPS worker will see this for what it is. She will be here Monday so I will post here and MySpace about waht took place. Thank you ladies, so much, for being here for me.
~THE EXERCISE THAT REALLY CHANGES YOUR LIFE IS WALKING DOWN THE AISLE~
my sd
told her school i beat her. i never laid a hand on her. cps came to the house as a routine, but they dropped the case because sd's story kept changing and she had no bruises or marks.
2 weeks later she tells her friends mom that i told her "i hope you get raped". those words NEVER left my mouth. sd told her father, "i thought thats what she said. maybe she just told me to be careful riding to heathers because of kidnappers" THOSE words came out of my mouth. she claims that she thought kidnap and raped meant the same thing.
a year before she told MIL that i rip her hair out if she doesnt clean her room and that she has thinner hair now cause of it. that child's hair is so thick its rediculous.
needless to say, sd just wanted me out and the only way to do it, in her eyes, was to make me sound like a psycho. cps workers are trained to know if there is something going on. u should be ok but u have every right to feel scared. i was and still am.