SS tried to break my 11 month olds neck!!!!
Hi everyone, I know I have not been on here in a while and I'm sorry, the summer has been so very busy with trip after trip.
Anyway, Monday morning I woke up to my 11month old, we'll call him "D" for short, all happy and ready to face the world so I get him out of his crib, which is in another room, by the way, and cuddle him while I make him his Decaf Coffee(don't ask 
and then I say him down with his sippy and went to brush my teeth and such, which has been a morning ritual since I stopped breastfeeding.
I come out of the bedroom and find SS9 standing there holding "D" by his little baby ankles with his head bent on the floor and SS9 is pushing down on him. I scream at SS9 to stop and let him go as I go running toward him and he refuses to let him go so I have to actually grab "D's" head and body, lift him off the floor and pry SS's hands from his little ankles. I check the baby and make sure he's okay and give him to SS8 to take to his (D's) bedroom to play for a minute then I start yelling (which is unusual for me) at SS9 asking why he was doing what he was doing and why he wouldn't yet let go, I get " I don't know" OOOOHHHH, I was so angry at that point that I told SS9 to take his butt to his room until I calmed down.
Well SS8 comes out to tell me that he knows other stuff SS9 has been doing and SS9 hears him and yells that if he tells then something bad will happen to him when he goes to sleep. Well that was it for me, I took D to daycare and SS9 to the police station who in turn told me to put him in a mental institution, which is what I did and where he is now.
This is the second one he has been in in less than a year, last time he was diagnosed with ODD. This time, he is not welcomed back in my house until I KNOW that the other children will be safe. I can't send him back to his BM, she refuses to take him b/c she can't control him and doesn't want him or his brother.
Do any of you think I over-reacted? Would you have done something different? Have you ever dealt with something like this? I feel so awful for putting him there but I feel relieved at the same time.
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Oh my God NO!!!
You absolutely did not over-react!! That child needs help, and if you didn't commit him he very likely would have harmed himself, your baby, his brother (the 8 year old) and/or you and dh. You did the right thing by playing it safe... don't risk the safety of your family.
Chocoholic
Thank you for your support, I think I knew I did the right thing, I just feel bad that he is so messed up in the first place.
IF IT WAS EASY, EVERYONE WOULD DO IT.
Under no circumstances-
Would I think twice about getting that child out of my home! There was no other option for you. That is so sad that his own mother will not deal with him- perhaps that's one reason he is so mentally imbalanced. How awful for you guys! I know how alarmed I was when my SS11 then age 5 tried to smother my firstborn. But his mother has custody of him, and to her that was no big deal, so we did not have to go to that extreme. But it's a horrible feeling having to always protect your child from their own brother. When it comes to protecting your baby, there is no such thing as over-reaction.
"All that we are is a result of what we have thought."- Buddha
So you've been in my shoes
Did you have to stop and calm down before you did anything drastic to your SS? I was so scared for my baby. I still shake when I think of what could have really happened. Getting pregnant in the first place with my son was a certain immpossibility, not to mention the fact that I lost a daughter to Spina Bifida 10 years ago, have had 2 misc arriages since then and finally had a healthy pregnancy with D, I thought maybe yelling at him like I did was an overreaction on my part, but more so the feelings I felt, like I just wanted to do the same to him.
IF IT WAS EASY, EVERYONE WOULD DO IT.
OMG
No you didn't over react. You have to protect your children and yourself. You and the chilren have a right to be able to sleep peacefully in your own home. I think his parents should have done something a long time ago. This boy is hopefully now getting the help he needs.
Thank You, Cruella
You validated my feelings as well. This is the second time that he has been in a mental institution and I refuse to let him back in my home until I know he is well on his way to recovery. His BM abused him for most all of his life and until I came into the picture, DH was not very involved in their life b/c BM would only allow him to see the kids when she wanted something. When I came into the pic, I told him it wasn't right and he needed to fight back. Talk about sticking my feet in my mouth.
IF IT WAS EASY, EVERYONE WOULD DO IT.
Hopefully
They will find out what is wrong with him. I hope so. In the mean time your children have the right to a normal life. Nothing like being verbally and physically abused by a step brother. As a mother and step mother you did what was right to do. What is right to do is not always the easiest thing to do.
You did the right thing..
you did the right thing for the safety of the entire fiamily including your ss. Don't beat yourself up over it you are trying to help him more than his mother is and you are a great person for doing that. At least you are able to see there is a problem and react instead of making excuses for it.
Live for today,you may not have a tommorow
Saftey 1st
So how does your husband feel about all of this? I agree that protecting everyone is in the best interest for all involved, even ss. Maybe after getting the help he needs, you will be able to trust him with the other children. You mentioned that SS 8 said that he had been doing other things as well? I hope this doesn't add tramua to the baby. I wish you all the luck. Things will get better.
Kim
Hats off to you
I commend you for making such a strong decision. My question is, where is your DH on this? Such a major thing for you as a step mom. And of course you are right! You have to think of the safety of everyone else in the house, especially an eleven month old that cannot defend himself. You are an amazing strong person to take on such a situation. But you are 100% right. My prayers are with you!
You did the right thing laughter.
De inimico non loquaris sed cogities.
I have had to personally remove destructive, disturbed and abusive children from homes where they literally had their own parents so frightend for their own personal saftey. Your reaction was one of protection and horror combined at seeing your baby in danger, not unusual nor overreactive. Your actions in taking ss to the police and then transferring him to an institution is an act of love on your part. You and DH are out of options and right now ss needs people who can reach inside him and discover what issues he is dealing with and help him to form some lasting techniques to eliminate the behavior he is exhibiting. Furthermore, the good Lord forbid, if these are outwardly signs of things to come, only worse, ss is in dire need of a professional finding this now instead of in later years when the damage he does can end anothers life and/or his own.
OMG
I can't even imagine the fear you must have felt.
YOU DID EXACTLY THE RIGHT THING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HUGS - Jo
"May the forces of evil get confused on the way to your house." George Carlin
You absolutely did the right thing..
Its sad that his own mother doesn't want him back. I mean having him and you guys having the other would be good I think. Then he gets one on one with mom and you get a peaceful house without worrying if the other children are ok. He sounds like a mean kid. I can't believe he would not let go of your son even after you asked him too. yelling is all you did, honey your a saint I probably would have given him a "spanking". Which some are opposed to but GOD gave us a butt for a reason and I believe its for a little disipline when needed.. Not a beating but a spanking..
Yeah I am curious how your husband is thinking too.. Keep us up to date.
Love and Hugs..
Happy
" make sure you tell the people you love most EVERYDAY.. Its important not only for them to know but for you to tell.. Life is to short to be miserable..