Somedays I just need to breath
My SD9 is a sweet kid, but sometimes I wonder how she is going to make it.
She cannot seem to focus on more than one thing at a time. I know that is normal but this kid litterally cant walk and chew gum at the same time some days (some days she is very focused and can do amazing things. She has balanced on one food on an excercise ball and held that position whle having a conversation like it was nothing) bust o fthe time she is clumsy tho.
Her dad and I always joke with her since she is so clumsy that we will help her up when she falls, just as soon as we are done lauging.
This morning she slipped on the steps when we were leaving. Mind you, we are already late because she decided to sing while she was getting ready.... which meant she stopped getting ready and was just singing.... cant do two things at once.
She looks at me and says "I bet you are going to laugh at me later" she continued to chatter away and talk about how she slipped, her outfit, just talk talk talk. Meanwhile.... SHE IS STILL LAYING ON THE GROUND!! She cannot talk and get up at the same time. Its like she forgot she was laying in the wet ground.
She is not always this extreme, but im scratching me head cause there is now way this is normal!
SHe has no physical disabiities, no learning disabiiteis, she just sometimes is TOTALY oblivious to her physical enviroment and seems disconnected.
are there any other parents that deal with this stuff or is it just me?!
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i was always a pretty clumsy
i was always a pretty clumsy kid.. part of my problem was depth perception. My right and left eyes are different enough..and my right eye is especially weak and uncorrectable beyond a certain point. It makes it tougher to judge depth.. therefore.. running into stuff... tripping etc.
Also the other answer is true.. growing kids aren't always themost graceful creatures.
If her eyesight checks out... i don't think you should think there is something "wrong" with the girl.
Honestly, over some of your past posts.. it seems you do have it "out for her" a bit.. that you resent her. You say that she is sweet.. but it's clear that she grates on you. I mean...even bio kids will grate on their parents.. but it can come off as a bit unkind.
Maybe an idea might be to let her get involved in dance or some sport that might improve her coordination.. give her more outlets for her energy and provide her with people that are interested in talking with her? To be honest.. sometimes there is nothing like "peer pressure" to get kids to act more in line with norms... but I think that what you are describing is not too unusual or odd for an 8/9 yo kid.
Wow. I’m blown away by your
Wow. I’m blown away by your response.
There are times that she grates on me yes. As do bio kids win their parents.
And yes I have vented in the very few posts I have made, but I thought this was a place you could safely vent frustrations. Venting is just that... it’s just blowing off a little steam and obviously not the whole picture. But to say I have it out for her.....wow.
If you don’t like what I have to say then stop reading my posts.
.part of this site is helping
.part of this site is helping each other by giving outside perspective. It's not a matter of us liking what you say or not really. But if you dont want opinions that may be constructive please put that in your post...
Saying that I have it “out
Saying that I have it “out for her” and that I “am unkind” is not constructive criticism. It’s just plain judgmental
I said it appears you may
I said it appears you may have it out for her 'a bit'. And that some of it can come off as unkind.
It doesnt mean you ARE an unkind person... or even that you are 'out to get her'...but that maybe you are expecting her to behave in a narrower way than is realistic for most children.
Minimizing it to "A bit" does
Minimizing it to "A bit" does not makes your judgments anly less hurtful.
You are making very broad and general assumptions with a very narrow window of the whole picture.
I take care of her EVERYDAY. I get her ready for school every morning, I read stories with her every night. If she's at grannies for the weekend, I call her to ask what she did that day and to tell her I miss her.I take her for girls day so she can do all the girly stuff in life that her absent bio mother won't do with her.
So to say that I come across as having "it out for her a bit" and that I "come across as a bit unkind".... wow.
i have vented when she grated on me. But you find me one parent who has never become frustrated with their child and never just needs to vent about their behavior every now and again.
If you want to publicly judge others as being "unkind" or "having it out" for anyone you really should have ALL the facts.
Wow! I just saw this! ESMOD should be
Ashamed of yourself for making her feel like a bad person for venting. ESMOD attacked and then tried to make it seem like it was just helpful advice, which is even worse. Are you kidding me? People come here to vent about the bad stuff, not to paint a pretty picture and discuss the good stuff. They come here to get solid advice and SUPPORT from people that have gone through it or are going through it. Accusing someone of having it out for their step-child is just one of the worst things to say. The step-parent obviously cares enough to search out a forum to get help to find a solution. If a step-parent actually had it out for their step-child, why would they waste their time on this forum? Makes no sense to me.
Left Out Mama, I have a SD9 too that does clumsy or absent-minded things. I can relate to what you originally posted. The thing I'm learning about her is that she does it for attention. I learned that she needs more quality time with her dad and the other attention-seeking behavior seems to lessen, but it doesn't go away. I'm not sure if that is the case with your SD though. I hope you found some answers and peace with that situation.
One more thing
Also, one more thing. It is completely normal to feel resentful at times in a blended family for all parties involved, including the step-parent. Accusing and shaming someone for feeling that way is not going to help. Giving them words of guidance, encouragement, hope and success stories will help ease the negative feelings and help the person find a solution. We're here on this to HELP each other.