Bed Time Antics
I have just been kicked out of my own bedroom because of a screaming three year old... And it does not make me happy.
If your kid was screaming and throwing a fit about going to bed would you then take them into your bedroom where your significant other is and lay down with them in your bed?
I sure as hell wouldn't. I have a very firm NO CHILDREN IN OUR ROOM rule. Our bedroom is our space where we do adult things NOT a place for children or children's toys. My 8 month old son can put himself to sleep without all this hassle but can the delicate little three year old, of course not! We have to hold his hand through EVERYTHING because when Daddy's around he can't do ANYTHING by himself.
I have had this kid all day and all day he has been a perfect angel except for a few little weird things which I'm crediting to his psycho bitch mother and her retched lifestyle choices. And yet when Daddy comes home he suddenly can't do a damn thing like put on his shoes or listen. DRIVES ME CRAZY!
I have certain expectations for all children. I don't think they're unreasonable and I don't think I should have to hold their hands through my expectations. Parents are supposed to prepare their children for adulthood, the 8 month old already understands that sometimes you won't have someone to lay down with you when you need to go to sleep. Sometimes you have to wait to get something you want. And yet, the three year old is allowed to get away with anything because 'it's not his fault his mother is crazy'. Great! So, you're rewarding bad behavior brought on by shitty parenting! The results are still the same regardless of the cause.
So now this is going to be the expected thing for him. Fan-fucking-tastic. I made all this progress such as having him put himself to sleep, having him do things for himself, and having him use manners. And now Daddy comes home with his guilt about breeding with a moron and it's all shot to shit.
And honestly, I'm pretty indifferent to him. I don't really care all that much about how he feels. Life's tough, get a helmet. What I do care about is the fact that I was in MY bed that I paid for with MY savings on MY computer and I'm having to leave because he's deciding to throw a fit.
Another thing, my SO always tells me that I coddle BS. He tells me crying won't kill him, it's okay if he cries. And yet, when SS cries it's all 'Oh, there there' and 'What's the matter?' in that RIDICULOUS high pitched voice!
You have got to be kidding me.
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My DH use to sleep on the
My DH use to sleep on the floor next to SS3's crib. This went on until SS3 was close to two years old. I finally told him there was no point in me sleeping at our apartment on those days; all it meant for me was listening to SS3 (then 18 months) scream all night and all morning while laying in an empty bed by myself.
Luckily, my parents' house was just across town, so I really did have another option.
DH quit sleeping on the floor next to the crib at that point.
We had alot of sleeping antics at that time, mostly because "seeing dad" was positive reinforcement for crying and screaming.
There is a solution though.
I started putting SS3 to bed. I got up 12 times a night when he was crying and told him to go back to sleep. DH NEVER SET FOOT in SS3's room after bedtime.
SS3 didn't want to see me in the middle of the night (he wanted dad). At the time we didn't have a great relationship, so he probably prefered NOT to see me. I was just the lady who came in and told him to go to sleep, which was the complete opposite of a reward.
So that fixed it. To avoid dealing with me, he stopped crying and screaming and throwing fits at night.
It took a few weeks, but we have had almost no trouble since then. He is now 3, goes to bed willingly, and usually sleeps through the night without any problems.