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Festivus for the Rest of Us - Air Your Grievances

lieutenant_dad's picture

Submitted by lieutenant_dad on Tue, 12/26/2017 - 8:09am

So it's a few days late, but since most of us have made it through the holidays (thus far), I thought I'd open up a general venting blog for those who wish share their frustrations with the holidays but don't want a full blog post.

My main grievance: YSS was a bit of an ungrateful brat on Christmas after he got his gifts. Up to the gift-giving point, he was polite and helpful. We even had a bonding conversation regarding school work.

However, the minute he opened his big gift? He was a lost cause. Not listening, not paying attention, and being whiny. DH had to break out "Dad voice", which he hasn't had to do in a while. He almost lost the big gift before he really had a chance to enjoy it.

We'll see how he is when he comes back later this week.

On a non-grievance but more amazement note, DH will have the kids for half their winter break for a second year in a row! He's had a 30/70 split of time with the kids since Thanksgiving, which is unheard of. In the past, the boys "wanted" to spend all their time with BM. Now she's saying they'd rather be with DH. No idea why it's happening (my mind runs between her wanting to co-parent better to she has a new BF so she wants free time to, uh, on weekends), but I'm rolling with it for now.

Comments

BettyRay's picture

Submitted by BettyRay on Tue, 12/26/2017 - 8:36am

The Good: DH and I got to spend most of Christmas Eve alone together; the boys were at BM's and we didn't have to be at my sister's till after 5 p.m. We wrapped presents together and watched movies, it was a nice relaxing day.

Grievance: Mostly mad at myself. After 13 years together I still feel like an outsider on Christmas. SSons arrived at 1:00 p.m. Christmas Day. They hung out with their Dad and my Mother in-law, talking and catching up. I tried to talk to them but getting them to talk to me is like pulling teeth. After dinner SS20's GF stopped by and he took off with her. SS16 played PS4 most of the evening. I just smile and try to fake it, I had hoped that by now things would be different.

The Funny: Our dog decided to open some presents without us on Christmas eve when we were at my sister's. Smile By the mess we came home to it appears he had a great time. Luckily nothing was destroyed.

~BettyRay

SacrificialLamb's picture

Submitted by SacrificialLamb on Tue, 12/26/2017 - 9:03am

Main grievance: Looks like I need to disengage from YSD also. She has made a point of bringing up OSD and children several times over the last few days, tried to get me to Facetime with the sgkids while they opened presents (who I have not seen in years), then when I missed the Holy Event, she made a point of telling me the kids reactions to opening presents. Like they are so rare and unique and act differently than other kids at Christmas? LOL I looked back at her with a blank look on my face and said nothing.

Later I heard YSD complaining about an entree my aunt had brought for dinner, that she took a bite, made a face, spit it out and my aunt saw it. She is just so classy.

She did not thank me for the present, dinners or anything else during the time she has been here. I believe her boyfriend is even ruder.

The good: If YSD was looking for any cracks in my marriage to her father, she didn't find them. So sorry. And I got to spend time with my sweet son also.

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

Submitted by Dontfeedthetrolls on Tue, 12/26/2017 - 9:08am

BM lied saying both kids and she had the flu in an attempt to prevent SO from getting the kids.

Both of us had our shot and we were sceptical anyways. Seems fishy that she waits till the hour were leaving to tell us anything.

We get there and one kid is 100% fine and the other has a small cough. Yep both clearly to sick to travel.

Neither of them said anything about being sick and trust me if the youngest had thrown up any time in the past month he'd still be talking about it.

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

Submitted by ProbablyAlready... on Tue, 12/26/2017 - 9:17am

The gifts sent to your house that are unwanted.... Such as a giant chair there is NO space for, and BM’s mom sent SD4 her very own, easy open, paint set... SD4 isn’t even allowed markers unless shes supervised (we keep them out of her reach) let alone her own paint set...

Also the fact BM magically has money to buy them random s*** they don’t even really like, but whines to DH about not having money for gas... Guess that new drug dealing gig is paying well... But I don’t need all the s*** that’s just going to clutter up the house since their interests have changed...

Peridwen's picture

Submitted by Peridwen on Tue, 12/26/2017 - 11:05am

The Good: SD12 & SS11 are realizing that Christmas is about giving, not getting. They asked DH to take them to pick out gifts for Nephew12 & Niece5. DH did so, and SD12 & SS11 also put BS5 & BS2's names on the cards. Very sweet!

The Bad: MIL tells SIL that the gifts from our kids are actually from SD12, SS11, and F*&((&ng BM! WT-everF**CKING-F**K? Where the HELL do you get the idea that ANYTHING we brought over has anything to do with BM? Also MIL is insistent that I give her my opinion on the tux BM rented for a BM Family event on NYE. (MIL owns a bridal shop and BM gets tuxes/dresses for formal events from there for the kids since MIL refuses to charge her for 'my grandkids.' NMB, IDC) Why does my opinion have any impact whatsoever on BM's choices about HER family event? Every time MIL does this I've said: "It's BM's family event - she and the kids are the ones who have opinions." So now I've asked DH to talk to his mom about it and shut it down. (I have so many issues with my in-laws right now that if I were to be the one bringing it up it would unleash hell and cause a potential shutdown of contact between DH's family and us. I tend not to post about those issues here since they are in-law issues and not related to the step situation.)