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Found: Someone's GUBM...

Lilywen's picture

Submitted by Lilywen on Mon, 04/23/2018 - 11:23am

...and I need you to come collect her and take her back to her life of leisure ASAP!

I have a very high stress job... In a small office where it is almost always just the 3 of us. One woman is a micromanaging nightmarish b!tch who I have just come to avoid as best I can in such a small setting. The other just started here two months ago. She is a GUBM of the highest order.

In two months she has been out more than I have on all child related BS. Raining? Kids can't walk home from the bus stop and get wet... School closed? The darlings can't be home alone. Her kids are 14 and 12. Mine are 4 and 1-1/2. Again, she missed more work in 2 months here than I have in 3-1/2 years... Keeping in mind I gave birth and took work to the hospital with me.

Things she has told me in 2 months (because once you squeeze a kid out you and all other mothers are part of a close fellowship of breeders): she never remarried but lived with a bf for years because remarriage would impact her alimony... She took this job because she applied for a special homeownership program but they require you to have a job (so she works here for 20hrs a week)... Her rent is more than my mortgage (in my area, that is unfathomable)... She drives a brand new car worth twice mine. The darlings' stepmother is always trying to insert herself and usurp GUBM's role. Dad 'chose SM over his real family'. She texts her kid's teachers constantly throughout the day and play-by-play updates me on their lives and how their dad/stepmother is to blame for everything from a scraped knee to emotional 'distress' including why her 12yr old NEEDS to cosleep with her.

It is madness. I hover over my toddlers less. I couldn't imagine my life thinking my purpose is catering to teen/tween children. Or that my IH ought support us all so I can wipe their butts, make them pb & j sandwiches and financially rape not only dad but garner sympathy from everyone around you because... GASP... You are a single mom... Doing it alllllllllll alone. 

For duck's sake... You are a 40 year old woman with 2 nearly grown children... Work a FT job... Crawl out from under your divorce. 

Please someone, come get this woman back to her life as a single mom, victim of divorce, giver of life so she leaves me alone.

Comments

thinkthrice's picture

Submitted by thinkthrice on Mon, 04/23/2018 - 11:30am

they had cloned the Girhippo!!!   I don't get all this helicopter "parenting."  By 12 my DD was the defacto babysitter for DS, at the time 6 yrs old.   

beebeel's picture

Submitted by beebeel on Mon, 04/23/2018 - 11:45am

I commend you for refusing the urge to tell her off! I would not be able to bite my tongue.

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Mon, 04/23/2018 - 12:18pm

Nope... Just Nope... I would not be able to keep my mouth shut. I would have made her cry. I am sure of it.

bananaseedo's picture

Submitted by bananaseedo on Mon, 04/23/2018 - 12:25pm

OMG she sound atrocious!!!  I wish the stepmom would find this group and come for support- cannot be easy dealing with that witch.

"... Keeping in mind I gave birth and took work to the hospital with me."  Sorry to hear that.  Honestly, nothing to be proud of- your job should be ashamed.  There is being a hard worker- and then balancing your personal life during birth/young infanthood time.  I loathe jobs that pressure women in this way honestly.  It's called work/life balance.

SMto2's picture

Submitted by SMto2 on Mon, 04/23/2018 - 3:14pm

No doubt, she makes herself the martyr to her bios and makes them think she has it soooo rough and has to work b/c of their horrible father! 

And, btw, I totally relate on taking work to the hospital on giving birth. I'm an attorney, and our then-senior partner called me to talk about a case while I was still in the hospital the day after giving birth!! Literally, I had my newborn in my arms, having had a c-section less than a day earlier, and was surrounded by visitors when my BOSS called and wanted to talk about something fairly insignificant in a case. This was nothing more than a "power" move on his part, as he is nothing but self-centered and arrogant. He did the same thing a couple years later to another one of my female partners.

strugglingSM's picture

Submitted by strugglingSM on Mon, 04/23/2018 - 4:53pm

My BM does a lot of those things, too. God forbid DH leave them home alone for a minute. If he leaves them with me, it's the same as her leaving them with a 15 year old stepbrother who never leaves his room. If DH tells them to do their homework, he is just making them feel bad because he hates her. If her precious cherubs struggle at school, it's because the teachers are mean. 

Meanwhile, she leaves them home alone all the time and only seems to pay attention to them when the public is watching. She's also great at noticing emotional weaknesses in the children and targeting those. She has enmeshed herself with her histrionic child, convincing him that DH "caused the divorce" and is "trying to take you away from me", so that child will have meltdowns every time he comes to our house and need to call mommy for reassurance. With the other child, she always tries to convince him that he doesn't want to do things...I think to keep him socially isolated. 

Being a SM has made me so jaded about the role of the mother and the cult of the mother in our society.  

DaniellaR's picture

Submitted by DaniellaR on Tue, 04/24/2018 - 9:19am

Well, I know it isn't the GUBM here- she is a stay in bed mom thanks to everyone's tax money and DH's CS  (disability due to mental illness). 6 more years and CS is totaly done- we will probably buy another house with the CS money Smile